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Poetry
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Twelve months
By Namaska
12 February 2007


A name,
White lines,

Tea for five followed by a day in the pub,

New words came to find me,

Brought me a pebble,

Took me down to the sea,

Washed away the night,

But the tide can not hold back time,

A new continent arose,

Sunny climbs and funny times,

A lover without the past,

And the sea came washing over me,

And I brought myself back,

With the worst of hang-overs driving me Home,

To find that spring had arrived.

My sister a writer,

My Brother a husband,

Trying to fall in love,

Trying to be beloved.

Hearts and minds took me through the summer,

Caffeine and nicotine putting the words on the paper,

The words that could only be perfect,

And they were.

And in the lack of sleep,

The world was dissolving,

And he came back,

The tide never refusing to turn,

Unexpected, in a shop door,

His tears fell too that night,

But they weren’t for me.

Salvation booked a flight,

But before she flew away,

We spent time together, dancing, laughing,

And towards the winter evening,

She left.

Alone, but not alone,

Sharing thoughts, I dreamt of chess,

Then headed home for Christmas. 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 


Reviews

Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 12th February 2007
Welcome to GW Namaska. I have to confess, this piece leaves me bewildered. :?  
 
Phil.

Written by francoise (129 comments posted) 13th February 2007
I think theres a nice flow to this and there are some interesting lines too. But like Phil I felt it was completely incomprehensible and continued to be so, until the end.  
If you focus on what you want to get across (as you do need to create a balance) it will make it alot more accessible to readers. That's the trick. 
 
a decent effort anyway..  
 
welcome to GW 
 
Fran

Written by francoise (129 comments posted) 13th February 2007
forgot to mention which lines i liked.. 
 
'Sunny climbs and funny times' (haven't a clue what you mean here but i liked the sound of this) 
 
I liked the opening lines too, simple and evokative. 
 
Having just read this a few more times I'm starting to see that its about your relationship with several people and how some in particular have carried you through a difficult period... well I thought I'd have a go! 
 
all the best 
 
Fran
?
Written by Talisker (1331 comments posted) 13th February 2007
Flumoxed of Scotland. 
 
:? :? :? :? :?  
 
Big words - why dont you delete the duplicate? 
 
Oli

Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 13th February 2007
I'll try again
Written by Josie (2847 comments posted) 13th February 2007
I'd like to comment, but my ignorance about what you have written is holding back my words. Why was this written to confuse people?

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