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Poetry
V. Day!
By deathstillness
14 February 2007
just something I thought about while I was sitting alone in here!


The day I waited came
But you did not
I wonder what's holding you
Time passing so fast
I am running out of reasons
But oh, I will be waiting still
I want to see you
I am quite disperate
I need you, just cannot let you go
Oh no! Not yet!

Reviews
Ummm...
Written by flook123 (35 comments posted) 14th February 2007
Before everyone collapses in a heap laughing I should change ' disperate ' to ' desperate ', otherwise you will be accused of being all over the place.  
 
That apart it does have a simplicity that is quite beguiling.

Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 14th February 2007
Okay. I suggest you read Josie's poem about what makes a poem and, more importantly, the responses that followed. In the spirit of honesty, I couldn't say this was poetry. While I admire your grasp of English, that doesn't mean you can compose poetry in it. 
 
Keep trying though. 
 
Phil. 
 
(Is this the kind of review we want on the poetry forum?)

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