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My Mummy and Daddy by Marie
By Snodlander
16 February 2007
ending adapted to try and remove some of the ambiguity.

I had the bit about the secret in a couple of places, but it doesn't really work, so deleted.

My name is Marie and I live in my house with my mummy and my daddy.  Mummy is cuddly and Daddy is tickly.

Mummy is best at cuddles because when I am sad or crying she gives me cuddles and after a while everything is alright.  She cuddles me in her lap and strokes my hair like I am a little kitty and I fall asleep or sometimes I just get bored and play with my dolls.

I have a Barbie and a Malibu Barbie and a doll that isn’t any special kind of doll.  I don’t have a Ken because boys are silly and just spoil games.

Daddy is best at tickles.  Sometimes he reads Mr Tickle to me and keeps tickling me when Mr Tickle does, and sometimes he just tickles me.  Sometimes he tickles me too much and I cry but then Mummy gives me cuddles and it’s alright.  We play a game where he pretends to read the paper and I touch him and he tries to grab me and if he does then he tickles me.

Daddy cuddles me too sometimes, but sometimes it ends in a tickle so it’s not a real cuddle.  Sometimes Mummy tickles me but it’s only gentle and sometimes it doesn’t even make me laugh.

So Mummy is cuddly and Daddy is tickly.  Which is nice, especially at the weekend when Daddy and Mummy are home all the time.  During the week Daddy doesn’t come home until after my bedtime or sometimes he has to stay in a hotel.  Me and Mummy want him to come home every day, but Daddy has to put the food on the table, which is funny because it’s Mummy that gives us dinner and sometimes I help.

Sometimes I pretend to be cuddly mummy to my dolls.  I never tickle them, because they’re not ticklish and I want to be a Mummy when I grow up and not a Daddy.  Sometimes I talk to them about stuff, and sometimes I am their Mummy, and sometimes I just play with them.

I also have a nasty Mummy.  She didn’t hardly ever used to come round unless Daddy was away for the whole week, but now she comes round when he’s away for a couple of days.  Sometimes even if he’s not staying at a hotel nasty Mummy comes around.  I don’t like nasty Mummy, and when she’s gone and my real Mummy is back we have the best cuddles in the whole world.

Last week nasty Mummy came around again.  She didn’t get dressed all day, she watched telly and cried a lot.  I tried to make my own breakfast.  Sometimes I have porridge, but I can’t do that on my own, so I made myself some cereal, but I spilt some milk.  I was trying to clean it up but nasty Mummy caught me and shouted at me.  She doesn’t like me either.  I was a mistake and she wishes I had died when I was little.  Sometimes I wish I had died when I was little too so I wouldn’t have to be with nasty Mummy.  But then I know that cuddly Mummy will be here sometime.  So I hid upstairs and cuddled my dolls, because they don’t like nasty Mummy either.

Daddy hasn’t met nasty Mummy, but I told him about her the other day and he said he sort of knew about her but he didn’t know that I had met her.  He said he was sorry about nasty Mummy and he cried.  I was frightened, because I had never seen Daddy cry before, not even when he cut his hand on the broken glass once and bled over the kitchen.  My Daddy is the bravest man in the whole world.  So I tried to give him a Mummy cuddle like my Mummy does when I cry and it worked and after a little bit he stopped.  He says Mummy is ill like the measles, only she doesn’t have spots.  I said “let’s give her some medicine” but Daddy says he doesn’t know if there are any medicines yet. 

He says that I am going away for a little holiday with Granny.  Granny is alright but she is very old and she smells like flowers and she doesn’t like noise.  I cried a little bit when he told me, and he gave me a cuddle.  It wasn’t as good as Mummy’s cuddles but he didn’t tickle me at the end, so that was alright.  He said that mummy was going to hospital to get better.  I said nasty Mummy could go to the hospital and my real Mummy could stay with me, but Daddy said that both Mummies have to go, but it’s our secret, and Mummy mustn’t know.  And when Mummy is better we'll all be together again and nasty Mummy will never come back and we'll all live happily ever after.

I’m going to take my dolls to Granny’s.

Reviews

Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 16th February 2007
dear Snoddy, 
at first I thought your daughter was writing the story, but only at first. 
You find your way into the mind of a child, in an astonishing fashion. 
A scary but often true story 
Trinny 
 
Well done. :cry

Written by LynB (434 comments posted) 16th February 2007
Beautifully written, very poignant story, as told through the eyes of a child. 
 
I loved it - it moved me a great deal. :)

Written by Fledermaus (3238 comments posted) 16th February 2007
So which mummy is ill? The nice one or the nasty one. Allthough sad, it could have been a lot sadder if she lived with her mother rather than her dad and his girlfriend... 
At least, if I understood this story correctly...

Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 16th February 2007
Sorry Batty, I could be wrong, but I believe there is only one mother. She is mentally ill. so changes of mood are explainable. maryb

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 16th February 2007
God, Snodlander, this is a tear-jerker!  
 
And damn it, you haven't left me a single typo to leap on, and all your grammatical infelicities are just the charming dialect of a child.  
 
Lovely little story. I personally know children who live with a mother like this (no, not me, thank God), and she has never gone to the hospital to get better.
Hi Snodlander
Written by jean.day (2257 comments posted) 16th February 2007
Gosh, what a story. When the daddy tickled too much I was worried it was going in another direction. But it is true, daddies do prefer tickling to cuddling and sometimes it is too much for a kid. But they never seem to understand that. 
 
Anyway, it was a good story. I too, think there is only one mummy - the real mummy - and I think I would have preferred the story if the little girl had made that clearer. Like saying, sometimes I don't recognise mummy - she turns into somebody else.  
 
And I felt sorry for Mummy too. She was being dumped whether she got better or not.  
 
But a very powerful story.

Written by teddy (240 comments posted) 17th February 2007
There isn’t much to add to the comments above; this is really emotional writing. 
Just like Jean, I also thought at the too much tickle point that the story would turn out differently. 
great story, enjoyed it very much. 
 
teddy 

Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 17th February 2007
Thought this was a well considered and tight bit of writing - moving too.  
 
Somewhere in the middle, I thought this was going in a different direction too. I think it's these lines: 
 
.....if he does then he tickles me. 
Me and Daddy have a secret. 
Daddy cuddles me too sometimes... 
 
'Secret' is a key/hot word in child protection and in the context it appears it does suggest that Marie may be suffering abuse. (This misunderstanding did not last long) If you want to avoid readers tripping there, you might want to tweak it. 
 
Good stuff. 
 
Phil.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 17th February 2007
Yep - I too thought this was a powerful read and very good. Have to agree with Phil - 'me and daddy have a secret' - had me thinking you were going in the cild abuse direction. 
 
Well written and very moving for its simplicity and directness - authentically childlike as well. Great stuff 
 
Elli

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 17th February 2007
ps. I didn't think that she actually had two mummies...

Written by johniebg (538 comments posted) 18th February 2007
I guess from the comments I am reading an evolved version of this story, which hang together pretty well. I got that nasty and good mummy were the same but wondered whether the good mummy and daddy with would ever let the nasty one be alone with Marie if they were that good. Could probably be easily explained I suppose and guess her child vision would be a distorted version of reality. 
 
Nice short story, something doesn't feel right but guess that might be in hearing a child's voice in such an accomplished medium, if you know what I mean. 
 
Good stuff.

Written by NeilTollfree (51 comments posted) 20th February 2007
Ah right, it's a revised story...okay, that explains the above comment about a girlfriend. I think this is excellent, terribly moving and well written. I think you've gotten into a child's (lack of) concept of time. It's all a rush and it's all happened at once. Talking to her Daddy and her Daddy saying that she's moving to Granny...I'm guessing these are products of numerous conversations, but Marie jumbles them all together. 
Top Work
Good stuff
Written by richard (88 comments posted) 20th February 2007
I've come to this one late, but it was worth it. Well done. As a previous reviewer said, it is a tight piece of writing. I can sense that every word has been thought about.  
 
It might have been worth resisting the "but it's Mummy who makes dinner" gag - for me it was the one line that didn't fit.

Written by Lizzy (783 comments posted) 9th March 2007
Enjoyed this.Well written and thought provoking. Children do have a different take on things don't they?

Written by Seagull (174 comments posted) 28th August 2007
Brilliant story. Very moving well written. 
 
Cheers 
 
Chris

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