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Poetry
A Beautiful Ending
By darkrealm
17 February 2007
my first entry here... its a free verse poem... so bear with me here... hehehe...

I’ve met an angel

That is so beautiful in any angle

I know that she’s the one

I’ve been waiting for since I was one

 



Now that I have her

I’ll love her like no other

Giving her the finest

Every single day is the best

 



Then trials came to us

Thus came arguments and distrust

Destroying everything we’ve done

From ten we’re back to one

 



I’ve been thinking about the night

I’ve been crying since the fight

The day that I’ve feared has come

Thinking what I will become


Even if my end is near

What should I fear?

Her loving arms have served as my haven

I will still love her even in heaven

Reviews
nice
Written by darkrose12 (5 comments posted) 17th February 2007
hei i can really relate to that even at my young age hehehe... i really like it... it is really deep and realistic

Written by Phil (6645 comments posted) 17th February 2007
Sorry to spoil the party - it's not deep, it's shallow and trite.  
 
My usual caveat applies darkrealm: I truly admire your grasp of English. I can't begin to think how hard you must have worked to get to this stage. 
 
However, it might be best to begin writing prose and spend some more time reading poetry. Eighteen is young, you have the excuse of inexperience. 
 
Keep trying. 
 
Phil.
It's a shame
Written by Josie (2732 comments posted) 18th February 2007
but human beings aren't angels that can be entrapped. Long term relationships aren't anything to do with angels and entrapment I'm afraid. Long term relationships start and finish with good solid friendship I'm afraid, and entrapping people and "having" them will turn anyone off you I'm afraid.

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