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By heartnsoul
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17 February 2007 |
For all those who have found love, and for those still looking. I imagine this is what finding your soulmate would be like.I'd rather be the star next to the moon up in the sky or be the mountain ‘neath your limbs, steady as you rise I'd rather be the polish that makes your diamonds shine or be the cloth that rubs them, your skin next to mine
I'd rather be the mirror reflecting back at you or the steam upon the glass, playing peek a boo
I’d rather be the canvas tickled when provoked
or the colors on the brush that inspires every stroke
I’d rather be the paper you speak to in the night
or the pen within your hand holding me just right
I’d rather be the vision inside the clay you see
or the work of art you mold when you’re needing me
I'd rather be the color in your eyes a passionate hue or be the timbre of your voice that echoes I love you
I'd rather be the sensation of your enraptured sigh or the silent tear of joy falling from your eye
I'd rather be the kiss placed gently on your lips or be the tender sweet caress of your finger tips
I'd rather be the rhythm beating deep within your heart or the melody that flows through it and all it's loving parts
I'd rather be the sheets disheveled on your bed or be those daring, passionate dreams that live inside your head I'd rather be love’s nectar drenched upon your tongue or the perfumed scent of love, whence the craving sprung I'd rather be love’s ocean splashing in its cave or be the grip of your embrace, catching every wave I'd rather be the wind blowing gently through your hair or the sun that warms your face, knowing I was there
I'd rather be the tree that shades you from the heat or be the soft green grass, underneath your feet
I'd rather be a room and feel your presence there or the comfort that you feel, inside your favorite chair
I'd rather be the knowing, of you wanting me or inside your loving gaze seeing what you see I'd rather be the floor, under bended knee or the whisper of your prayer that brings you close to me
I’d rather be in the December, of your memories
or the sparks of “ember” when you remember me
I'd rather be a part, of your heart and soul For ever joined together – is forever whole
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Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 17th February 2007 | Some nice ideas here, but for me this needs a drastic edit. It's too long - you make your point over and over. Perhaps pick your favourite images and lose the rest. As I was reading I was expecting the last line/s to tell me that you'd rather do/be all those things than....what? I could be wrong - but if you say you'd rather, it ought to be compared to something. With some tweaking and editing, this could be a very creditable piece. Phil. | that's Written by patterjack (1194 comments posted) 17th February 2007 | a lot of Al Capp's druthers patterjack | I Don't Think So Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 18th February 2007 | | Many people could not live their life with someone who was tied to them hand and foot. We need support from our soulmates, but not suffication. I often think that is where relationships go wrong. You cannot make two people into one, tied hand and foot to each other. I've been married many years, but I would hate to be a constant grip of an embrace. Give me room to breathe. But perhaps others, married for a long time, may think differently. Give me room to grow - that is more what most people want - well I think so. |
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