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Poetry
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my world
By -jellyacey-
18 February 2007
Let me take you to neverland
Oh fair maiden give me your hand

I'll show you the world though my eyes
I'll show you all things that are nice

Come and see what's in store for you
Believing and seeing is all you have to do.

In my world there's no reason to cry
You can do anything if you'd try

In my world there's no war
No bloods or battles not even a scar

In my world people pray
That the real world would be like mine everyday

Reviews

Written by Marybarry (237 comments posted) 18th February 2007
I enjoyed the poem but disagree with the content. 
 
A definition of hell is as follows. 
 
A perfect world.No negative influences. 
BUT, how would we grow spiritually? 
No obstacles, how boring. 
 
That is hell ,BOREDOM. 
WE live in a polarity system IE 
 
Black --White 
 
Good---Bad 
 
Life-----Death ETC. 
 
Only one object or creature doesent have an oppisite pole, that is God, if you believe in him.MB. 
trying theology
Written by fellpony (1649 comments posted) 18th February 2007
-- very trying :) You'll have to iron out an error of logic here: 
 
In my world people pray 
That the real world would be like mine everyday 
 
If your world is perfect, they don't need to pray that the real world is like yours; if they do, it probably isn't perfect, just self congratulatory or smug. Perhaps I am being cynical. 
 
God, BTW does have an opposite: the Devil - if you believe in him :) 
 
None of which makes this a profound poem, because it only faintly scratches the surface of a huge subject. I find this somewhat trite and cliche'd -- rhymes and ideas both, I'm afraid.
Peter Pan
Written by Josie (2825 comments posted) 18th February 2007
Neverland is the fictional island in Peter Pan. Yes, take us all to the land where we may never age. The words of your poem obviously come straight from the mouth of Peter Pan. Your world, Peter, is the world of escapism and immortality. When we hear the news of the real world, Neverland does seem preferable and I think I could sometimes live with a bit of boredom, ha ha.

Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 18th February 2007
No, sorry Josie. Neverland is the failed theme park and kiddie fiddling empire of Whacko Jacko! 
 
Nuff said. 
 
Oli :eek

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