More about my life and loves at the United States Public Health Service Hosptial at Staten Island, New York, where I was a dietetic intern.

John 

We quickly got to know the pharmacy and dental interns and had quite a pleasant social life with them. All of us interns were commissioned second lieutenants with the USPHS and had bars that we wore on our collars. We also had military type uniforms which we had to be specially fitted for and bought from the PX on the island, provided at great expense, and worn only as far as I was concerned on the occasions when I was traveling (illegally) as a military stand by.

Since we were officers we were allowed into the Officers Club, and a great treat was having "pink thing" at "happy hour" at 5 o'clock on Fridays. It was at the Officer's Club that we got to know the pharmacy interns, and there were two in particular that I remember well. One was called Bob, and he was tall and handsome and came from Iowa. The other was slim and dark and shy and his name was John. He came from Boston.

As soon as I met John I forgot all about the naughty medical intern at the party who'd tried to seduce me, or so I liked to imagine.

J
ohn was my ideal man and I decided to use all my skill and cunning to have him as a boyfriend. I previously had had very little luck with men, but John seemed to be as attracted by me as I was by him. But he was very shy, so I felt I had to take the initiative. One of the places in New York that I hadn't yet visited was the Village, and I asked John and Bob to go with Ruth and me to the Village one night. I'm not sure the idea was met with overwhelming enthusiasm, but the plans were made and at seven pm one Saturday evening John and Bob appeared at our front door to collect us.

But in the meantime, Ruth had for some reason changed her mind, so I was the only girl going. When Bob saw this, he backed out too, and it was John and me going off to Manhattan alone. I couldn't have been happier. We seemed natural and comfortable together and laughed at and enjoyed the same things. We walked hand in hand seemingly very much in tune with each other. We had a meal at an Italian place before we returned to the hospital, and I was on cloud nine. John kissed me good night with a great deal of tenderness and said, ‘I just can't help myself’. It seemed a strange thing to say, but I didn't think too much about it at the time, just so pleased that things were working out and that this was undoubtedly going to be the man in my wedding photographs.

John didn't phone me, but whenever we were at the Officer's club we were together. We went out for walks together and when the whole bunch of us went to a dance at the PX near the bridge, I danced with John all night. He seemed as deeply involved with me as I was with him. Then one weekend, I heard via somebody else that he was having a female guest from home to stay at our nurses’ home. But he spent the Friday night as usual with me at the Officer's Club and kissed me when he brought me home with the same enthusiasm and ardour.

My spies later told me his friend was pretty and obviously very much belonged to him. But I never had a chance to discuss the situation with him because as a perk to our jobs, we each had a three week visit to The National Institutes of Health, the big research hospital in Bethesda, Maryland, just outside Washington D.C. which was run by the USPHS. We were to go in twos and Ruth and I were the first to go, and that weekend while John was entertaining Leslie, we were en route by train to Bethesda.

While we were at Bethesda, the pharmacy interns were also taking their turns at going to NIH. Bob was there at the same time we were and we had breakfast with him one morning. I asked him if John was serious about Leslie, and he said he thought so. I was depressed but not really prepared for the news that awaited me on my return to the hospital. John and Leslie were engaged and getting married in early December. We had it all figured out that she was pregnant and that that previous weekend trip was to tell him the good news.

I dressed up in my new green suit bought in Washington to go to the Officers Club for Happy Hour but when we returned I was anything but happy. I congratulated John with as much good grace as I was capable of. He looked a little bit embarrassed, but we never spoke about it again. I had been so sure that John was right for me. I wonder if Leslie hadn't turned up with her news that weekend if things would have happened differently. But it was too late, and my friend Carolyn was very comforting to me as I sobbed my heart out that night.

I must admit I wasn't very adult about handling the situation on the occasions when I saw John after that. We had always sat together at meals, the pharmacy interns, the dental interns and us. So I would have found it hard to avoid seeing him. But I made lots of snide cutting remarks aimed at him, and no doubt embarrassing everybody at the table. It didn't make me feel any better either.  But I showed a bit of grace the weekend before he got married. I was arranging a big bulletin board display in the front hall when he happened by. I wished him well in his marriage, and I think we ended up being sort of friends.

After my broken hearted experience with John, I spent a lot of time with Frank. Frank was a male nurse, reputed by some to be gay, but he certainly was very keen to have my company. We went out to lots of places together, plays on Broadway, concerts at Carnegie Hall. One time the other girls decided to help me improve myself before Frank and I went out. One of them did my hair, another did my makeup. I borrowed somebody else's earrings, and really felt special. As soon as Frank picked me up he said, "You stink of too much perfume. Go and wash it off." So I did.

Frank never made any moves to kiss me or even hold my hand. I knew what people said about him, but I thought maybe he was just shy. So one day when he invited me over to his apartment after going out to a movie I asked him about it. "What makes you think I want to kiss you?" he asked.

So after that I decided that I was wasting my time with him if I was ever going to accomplish my goal of finding a real boyfriend. I guess my pride was hurt a bit by the fact that Frank, whatever his sexual leanings were, found me unattractive. I told him we could be friends after that but that I didn't want to go out with him anymore because I needed more than what he had to offer in a relationship.

One time when I was at his apartment he spent a lot of time kissing his cats. I don't like cats and these two seemed to be more than a little displeased with me. When I set the table and got the meal ready for us that night, I used the cats’ plate by mistake to put the bread on. Frank had a fit, but I think he felt that the insult was to the cats, rather than a health hazard to us.