You're Beautiful - Great Writing Creative Writing Community

Quicklinks:

Great Writing - Home > Non-Fiction > You're Beautiful

READING ROOM

Great Writing - Home

Read and review others' work

Articles on writing

Advice from the community

COMMUNITY

Talk to others in the forums

Events and Competitions

GW News

ABOUT GREAT WRITING

All About Us

WORK AWAITING REVIEW
This list is randomly generated from all our published works. Remote control car by mightymoose Nighty, night, Haiku by Brett On Holiday by Katanga Marple and the Chartists... by jean.day Matter of relations Part... by BrianRobertNeal The Warrumbungle Ranges by Robru The Apple Pie Bandit. by petmarj Back to work by awakenedmind Lament by johniebg Exec. by patterjack

GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.

WHO'S ONLINE
We have 2096 guests online and 11 members online Asferthecat Katanga JohannaBoal Lizzy matador patterjack ianhobsonuk wltshr TomtomKent Josie Phil

One of a series of articles commenting on life as a single girl in London.

“You’re beautiful.” She said.

You’re strong, but there is no beauty encased in that red satin top and those fish net stockings. You’re hard. But you are not beautiful I thought.

There is so much beauty in this world but we gnarl at it until all we see is ugliness.

A short denim mini skirt rides high on the thrill of a night out, away from the kids, away from him. A plunging neckline gawps flirtatiously at the prospect of a night of freedom.

What a tangled web she weave.

Happiness is too easy and too hard to settle on, always looking for something wrong. Make life hard, chip away at the pleasantries bit by bit until every day is insolent. It is easier to live with the ugliness, it gives us the right to complain.

There is so much beauty in the world. The children. They see so little but they see everything that is beautiful because they simply let it be.

She runs up the stairs. Her skirt leaves little to be said. She wants to be in there, surrounded. She is food for their ugliness and she feeds from them. She thrives. Her children sleep. He does not.

She sees my beauty because I have yet to find something beautiful to make ugly. Like the children, my world is through innocent eyes. When I find happiness she will see my ugliness. We change our worlds because we can’t bear the burden of happiness.

"Don’t make a mess" we tell our children as we make the biggest mess we can. "Pick your clothes up off your floor" we tell our children as we throw ours down on someone else’s. "Don’t tell lies" we tell our children as we promise that this will be the last time we tell one.

Be happy with what you’ve got we tell our children. Be happy with what you’ve got.

Reviews

Written by Phil (6731 comments posted) 22nd February 2007

I think you might have this in the wrong forum. Not read it yet as I've noticed there are more in NF and I'll do them in order.

To move it, click on 'view my existing work,' change the forum from the drop down menu and resave.

Phil.

Written by johniebg (541 comments posted) 22nd February 2007

This read well in the main. I was a little confused by the perspective. Don't know whether this has been edited but I assumed this was a non-fiction account of a night out with you and a mate.

Liked what this had to say and found it a good read, it seemed clearer as the two mates on a night out scenario second time round.

Some nice enterprising descriptons, liked the denim mini skirt riding high on the expectation of the night.

Good stuff.

Written by Snodlander (501 comments posted) 22nd February 2007

'Her skirt leaves little left unsaid'. Though I like the sentiment, there's too much leaving in that sentence. But it's a difficult one to rephrase. 'There is little left unsaid by her skirt.' Perhaps. or maybe 'Her skirt leaves little unsaid'.

I like the word gnarl. Sadly neglected in todays lexicon.

I was a little confused by the identity of the narrator. On second read through I guess it's a girlfriend that's going out on the town with the mini-wearer.

I particularly liked the clothes on the floor line. A bitter and cynical story, but well-written, and may strike a cord with those that can still go out on the town and not be called Grandad.

Written by Phil (6731 comments posted) 22nd February 2007

Different in tone and perspective to the other three - this one is more removed, more philosophical, even more bitter. It's a good piece of writing, but while the others were a very easy read (even though they had things to say) this is less accessible.

I wonder if this is deliberate or accidental?

Still enjoyed, Phil.

Written by johniebg (541 comments posted) 23rd February 2007

... thought I would pop back to see what the collective had to say. Very interesting, at least in the main we are saying the same things.

Didn't spot what snodlander said the first time but see what he means, its that left and leaves. Would probably need to leave out the left or re-word the whole sentence, but I guess most would pass it by.

I have to say here and in your others people have said they are bitter, are they meant to be? I never got this. I just took them to be pretty astute observations?

This reminds me a lot of the perspective and reflective style of Belle de jour, so you must be doing something right.

Keep tapping.

Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.

Previous item		Next item


print friendly version
You're Beautiful