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Poetry
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| 5-A-Day | |
| By Talisker | ||||||||||||||
| 22 February 2007 | ||||||||||||||
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"5 a day" is the UK governments (nanny state) slogan to encourage us all to eat lots of rabbit food and cow fodder. Of course, I did so already. Deep fried (chips are veg, right? - well they ain't animal or mineral!) Easy peel jaffas on special offer straight from the kibbutz as kosher as the day is long and like the man who’s firing blanks these beauties have “no peeps” Golden Delicious French apples neither golden, nor delicious oversized, green, watery, packed with nutritious pesticides Cucumber phallic in its prophylactic wrapping ninety-five percent water five percent pleasure (for most) Celery an acrid weed crunchy and bitter who first thought to eat this? Watercress and dandelion and rocket and “baby” spinach aw! Shucks! Baby spinach! What happened to lettuce scrunchy iceberg every time Paw paws, mangoes, ugly fruit, bloody ugly fruit! Who decides? on fruit beauty? “And this year’s Miss Fruitiverse is…the Kiwi!” Mushrooms little satanic trees how tiny is a lumberjack in a mushroom forest? Broccoli break the stalks off you pay less trust me I’m a Scotsman Oli 22/02/07
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