Just a bit of fun... it is quite relevant to me and my son and probably to a few more people?!
I would love some feedback again because I really have found all of your comments to be very helpful with my other poems.
Thanks,
Kathy
Why Won't Boys Wear Coats?
Why won't boys wear coats?
Does anybody know
Why they all refuse to cover up...
Just like my dear son, Joe?
For he'll go outside be-tee-shirted
In minus 3 degrees
And insist his body's warm enough
In spite of knocking knees!
A veritable drench of rain
Is but a spot of bother
To a self-respecting boy
Compared with listening to his mother.
(Do paperboys in scorching Spain
- Which benefits from little rain-
Insist on doing 'rounds' in packs
Of boys who sport warm scarves and Macs?)
Its true, we mothers love our sons
And learn the art of 'keeping mum'
But still, we haven't got a clue
Why its such fun to get wet through!
Like us, in twenty years or so
Perhaps they will discover
That the way to keep your clothes dry
Is to listen to your mother!
|
Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 22nd February 2007 |
It's a competent poem, but not my favourite style. I don't know how to describe it without sounding offensive (which I don't mean to be) so I won't. Horses for courses Kathy, others will lap this up.
If it's any help, neither of my sons (11 and 1 like to wear coats. My oldest won't wear shorts, even when we're abroad and my youngest won't walk next to me if I'm wearing a hat. (I'm bald.)
Phil. |
No offence taken!
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 22nd February 2007 |
Phil, it may sound rather worrying to say that I enjoy being criticised by you, but its true!
I am aware that this style of peom is not great art or even that it takes much effort although quite a bit of thought did go in to it... I was just in a silly mood and it satisfied a rather childish element in me!
Very funny about your youngest one, what's he got against hats? Would he prefer you to wear a holiday toupe?
Frankly, my son is now 15 and 6 foot tall, so I lost the battle a long time ago...
Thanks,
Yours competantly
Kathy |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 22nd February 2007 |
Okay, I will confess: I lapped this up. I snorted with laughter and enjoyed it very much. It's not Coleridge, but it's fun and it makes a point.
And Kathy, it is not just sons! I will never forget the school Christmas concert the year we arrived in Scotland. My two were the only ones with bare legs and no coats -- or jumpers -- in the big, chilly cathedral. I remembered the angry scene an hour earlier when I'd practically gotten down on my knees and begged the girls to wear socks -- even ankle socks! -- and how I chased after them with their coats and jumpers. And I thought that if just one more mother pointed out to me that my kids looked cold, I was going to scream. |
Kids eh?
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 22nd February 2007 |
Yes, I quite agree that its not gender based at all, my 13yr old daughter has started it now... but I think that that is more dependent upon whether her outerwear goes with the inner wear because the coat never gets done up!
Regarding your ordeal in the cathedral, its interesting how parents love to judge others mistakes, perhaps it makes some of us feel better...
Cheers and thanks for enjoying it!
Kathy |
Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 22nd February 2007 |
Sorry, no idea how that smilie got in there. Tat should read 11 and 18.
My youngest and hats: he thinks I look 'gay.' There's a poem I wrote about it called Autumn. (I think) When he says 'gay,' which I've just about battered out of him, he means stupid and embarrassing, not effete.
Phil |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 22nd February 2007 |
They all say this. 'Gay' and 'random' have been hijacked by the younger generation and now mean completely different things. Have you noticed this?
'He was, like, this gay man.' And they don't mean homosexual!
'This totally random guy comes up to me,' And she doesn't mean 'by chance!' |
Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 22nd February 2007 |
Random annoys me more than gay. 
(I don't really batter my son.)
Phil. |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 22nd February 2007 |
I've just read your Autum Hair poem, which is in a similar style to mine above but cleverer! It was great, very funny.
Glad to hear that you aren't a child beater and yes, as well as finding the use of gay and random perlexing, I can't understand why to be 'wicked' should be a good thing. Unless you enjoy that sort of thing I suppose.
The above poem may not be 'Coleridge' but it has opened up a wicked can of (possibly gay) worms, randomly!
Off to bed now but you can both stay here if you like, just turn the lights off when you've finished and don't make too much noise.
Night
Kathy |
Has a place
Written by bwoz (125 comments posted) 22nd February 2007 |
Kathy,
I believe any good verse has a place, and this to me qualifies as really good.
Where would I be without Dr Suess? Or Shel Silverstein?
One Fish Two Fish, Red Fish Blue Fish. I read that to both of my daughters, one now teaches 2nd graders, the other still in middle school.
And I know this type of poem takes a lot of thought and effort to make it appealing and "common" to the reader.
I was one of those no-coat-wearing boys once.
BW |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 23rd February 2007 |
Hi BW
So pleased that you enjoyed this... I have quite a fondness for it because as we see by all comments above, it really does speak to people!! Problem is that I am going to have to find another verse for my daughter or I'll be accused of favouritism...that is another topic entirely.
My daughter also loved Dr. Seuss. Kids seem to like repetition and a very clear beat, I think that they are then able to speak it as well and feel part of it, perhaps it is comforting?
Glad to hear of your non-conformist boyhood! Can you tell me what did motivate your non-coatwearing rebellion?
Regards,
Kathy |
Hi Kathy
Written by jean.day (2257 comments posted) 23rd February 2007 |
I too liked your poem - and in its simplicity it makes those of us who are not accomplished at poetry feel like maybe we could do it too.
I enjoyed all the chat when you were learning on to use the site and your computer, so I feel like I know you already.
My kids and now granddaughter who is 3 share the not wanting to put on coats or shoes or hats or gloves or anything that you say will be necessary or good for them. I think it is just part of being a child trying to become independant.
I look forward to reading more of your work. |
Thanks Jean
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 23rd February 2007 |
What an honour to be told that one might be giving other people an idea to go on and have a go at poetry too!!! I think that it is quite hard work to keep one's writing uncluttered, to me it doesn't matter what approach is used as long it doesn't try too hard. Easier said than done though and I really don't manage to achieve that often... Sincere thanks for your kind words.
Yes, I think that I am happy to reveal a lot of myself, I've done the teenage angst bit and been bandied about by life somewhat as we all have, but am in a place of real self-knowledge which is great. Life is so peculiar that one might as well see the funny side of it, although I don't always achieve that.
I think that you are right about the need for independence. My kids want it at one moment, but then reveal that they can't live up to it at times... the cross-over into responsibility is not easy for anyone involved.
I'm really hoping that someone - perhaps even BW who has admitted to 'being that boy' - will send a mother a son's reply in verse form... that would be fun wouldn't it!
Love forward to our next chat,
Regards,
Kathy |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3295 comments posted) 23rd February 2007 |
Well I liked it. I have just read Josie's poem and feel the same about this one. This is obviously meant humourously and funny subjects seems to work much better with a tight rhyme and rhythm. I don't know why but they do. So I think this worked on all levels.
And Idon't know why the boys won't wear sensible clothes either, mine's in a track suit phase which I hate. I've told him if he starts wearing baseball caps I'll disown him.
Good Stuff
J |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 23rd February 2007 |
I would love to know what people think about humourous versus serious poetry because I have a view that this one is not 'as good' as a serious one of the same standard? Actors will say the same about funny or serious roles, but I know that being funny is far more skilled in a way because there is so much to get right with,,, oh, timing!
Thanks for your kind words! I am please that you think that it works on all levels... it was very satisfying to write.
I REALLY, REALLY want someone to respond with a verse from boy to mother about the same subject... any takers?
Kathy |
A serious business
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3295 comments posted) 23rd February 2007 |
Kathy, there is nothing more serious than comedy and people are only sniffy about humourous verse because they can't do it. Really funny verse will always get a big audience. One famous actor said "Dying is easy comedy is hard" Just need to work on your timing,sweetie
Tom Lehrer is a great exponent of it:-
"When they see us coming the pigeons all try and hide
But they still go for peanuts when coated with Cyanide"
sheer genius
J
P.S I'd ask Mark to write a response to your piece but he thinks poetry is go gay. |
Written by Talisker (1321 comments posted) 23rd February 2007 |
There is room for all shades of poetry, from the wrist-slittingly depressing to the frivilously trivial, to the policaly satirical, to the childishly funny - as long as it is well written.
This poem is OK, it scans tolerably, for me.
My problem is that I don't have a boy, and when I was one, I loved my coat (especially snorkels and duffles), although snorkles were a severe pedestrian road hazard!
Probably Brian will get it, because he's in touch with his feminine side.
Oli  |
Why Won't Boys Wear Coats?
Written by CliffBowes (176 comments posted) 23rd February 2007 |
Hi Kathy,
I'll add my comments to a very long list. I love the poem, it reminds me of all sorts of tussles with offsprings.
My son hardly ever wears a coat, refuses to wear a vest or pullover but never complains about being cold even when it's minus 5 outside. He has his favourite tee-shirt which I swear he wears 24 hours a day....and he is a forty five year old father himself.
Will they ever grow up?
Cliff |
Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 23rd February 2007 |
I almost wish I hadn't commented now. I like humorous verse, I sometimes like tightly scanning verse. Sometimes things just don't click. As I said, others will lap this up, and they have. I'm glad they have too.
Phil. |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 23rd February 2007 |
Phil, don't you dare feel guilty about commenting!! Your opinion always spot on as far as I'm concerned... It was yours and others comments that helped me to improve upon my last effort GLIDING ... only thanks are due! I am content enough with the above not to bother to alter it but I could have done better, but then I always think that.
Reason for my funny/serious question is that I think that I often judge this issue too harshly myself... and I have pulled myself up a bit because I have realised that actually, it takes just as much effort to do both. Perhaps comedy is harder as BBS states because it one has to try not to sound trite!
Glad that it brings back great memories for Cliff and his 45 year old 'boy' and am left with a marvellous image of Oli in his buttoned-up coat and snorkel...
Thanks for reminder about Tom Lehrer, we have a CD will have to search it out again!
How can I pursuade a GW contributor to make a boy's response to me in verse?
Anyway, off to perfect my theatrical swandive darlings!
Cheers!
Kathy |
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