Philip - finally.


November 13, 1966
Dear Mom, Dad and Judy, (I used carbon paper and sent two letters off. Judy wasn’t living at home)

Phil fixed my typewriter so the s’s hit. He’s awfully nice to have around. So I will devote the rest of this letter to him.

You will be hearing a lot about him, since this promises to be a close friendship, so you may as well be properly introduced to him right away. Philip Day is from Guernsey, an island in the English Channel, just north of France. He is 29, has his PhD in Chemistry from Oxford, no less, and he likes me.

When I got home from work on Friday, I had this note in my mail box saying, “I suspect you’re busy this weekend, but if not, would you consider having dinner and seeing a film with me?”

So I said “I’d love to,” even though I was supposed to go to a baby shower that night.

I was on top of the world. Remember I wrote that he’d come over on my birthday last week and I’d a feeling that perhaps he’d ask me out, and Marcy, my roommate, told me not to be so stupid. Well, I was right. So I took three hours getting ready for our date, nail polish and all.

We went to a hotel restaurant in Chicago and the service wasn’t very good, so Phil refused to tip. They were very mad and I was very embarrassed, but he said it would be a mockery to tip for bad service.

We went to see Alfie, which is a better version of Tom Jones. It was an English movie, so Phil felt right at home He had to translate some of it for me. Then we went out to a pub and had beer, and came home and talked (and stuff) until three. I discovered he’d been thinking of asking me out for the last three weeks but hadn’t because of a remark I made when he was critical of my bridge playing ability and I said he enjoyed hurting people. And he didn’t think I’d acted very interested. (He must have been pretty thick.)

But we did have a nice time. Then on Sunday, we walked to the Ba’hai Temple and went inside. Then we sat by Lake Superior and watched the waves and boats go by. Then we went to his apartment for tea and toast and then he came here and I made him supper. Marcy was very angry and said that she resented paying for his portion of food. I think she was jealous actually because she has known him as long as I have, and I think she was rather hoping it would be her he asked out.

He asked if I’d be dating anyone else and I said no, so I guess you could say we are going steady. Actually on the second date, on Sunday, he told me that any girl he married would have to agree to live in England. I was rather taken aback by that, and sort of giggled. “Would you consider it?” he went on. “Yes, of course I would,” I said. So be warned.

He’s a Christian, no less. I was beginning to think there weren’t any of those left. He belongs to the Church of England. While we were on the subject of marrying on our second date, I said, “I will want to be married in the Catholic Church,” which he was not very happy about, but I told him that it wasn’t that I expected my husband to convert or anything like that. I know both of your husbands converted Mom, but I don’t think it is such a big deal any more.

He’s going home for Christmas as he is very close to his family and is homesick. His dad and one brother, who is in Africa, are teachers. The other brother is living in Australia and is a mathematician.

Phil is about 5’11” tall, and weighs about 160 lbs. He has sandy hair, quite long, but not Beatle like - just English looking. He’s quite good looking, and really quite shy. He has red cheeks and doesn’t care much about clothes. He dislikes girls who wear nail polish, dye their hair, and wear make-up. Really he is awfully nice and I hope something comes of this. It is a good feeling to have someone really like me, and I believe he is sincere.

Love
Jeanie

Here is the letter I found amongst his mother’s things when she died. Note the date on it compared to the letter I wrote to my parents.

21st April, 1967

Dear Mum and Dad,

Just so as not to take you too much by surprise, I had better warn you that I will quite likely want to get married - to an American! - Sometime later this year. Nothing definite yet - just a warning. And don’t worry that I shall suddenly announce I have done so either - I will let you know how things progress and you can make plans if and when necessary.  Whatever happens, I would hope to live in England eventually so don’t be too upset. I expect you could get used to an American accent in time.

Love
Philip

8th May, 1967

Dear Mum and Dad,

Thank you very much for your letters. I am now properly engaged - I don’t know if you want to publish the fact anywhere. The girl’s name is Barbara Jean Wyngarden and she lives nearby. In case you should wonder, Wyngarden is originally a Dutch name, not German, and the family moved to America many generations ago. I am sending a not-very-good photo and I will send a better one sometime. Jean teaches dietetics at the School of Nursing at Evanston Hospital.

We would like to get married in the summer. If you want to come over, I can offer to pay your fares, but I had thought that instead of your coming here, we could come to England after the wedding. Although it would be very nice if you could both be there, and also I would have liked you to meet Jean before we got married, I think it would be silly to keep flying back and forth. So I’m sure the best plan is for us to come and see you. If you would like to hold a wedding party in Oxford or Norfolk, I think that is a very good idea.

In case you want to write to Jean’s parents, I will include their address. They are all Roman Catholics, by the way, so I shall have to get married in an RC Church, although I don’t intend to become one myself. I think this will only affect you in that you have to sign a form saying I haven’t been married before.

Love,
Philip