I had a sudden flash back to childhood play whilst doing some mundane housework the other day and as I enjoyed the memory, I thought that I would try to capture it and some of the feelings that accompanied it. It is very short!
Any comments will be very gratefully received!
Thanks,
Kathy
I galloped back down to my childhood today ... cantering through the washing-up steamed kitchen windows. Ponytail maned and sock-sandaled hooves slapping on the playground paddocks as faster and faster we ride in a riot of snorting and whinnying.
"Whoa there Starshine, slow down girl!" - my rider's voice tense with the effort of clinging on to school dress belted reins. But rebellion takes hold and Starshine will not be placated as horse and rider gulp and swallow at the rush of blustery air.
"Come on Starshine, good horsey, I've got some sugar lumps..."
And rearing to a halt, the chestnut mare , stroked and sugared, blinks and paws her right footed hoof with pleasure in the playtime sun.
Both horse and rider start at the sudden sound of thundering hooves, galloping over the lunch-break hills. It is Midnight, the pure black stallion, bursting and glistening with life and rearing up in mock terror at this new encounter. Horses go wild as their riders fight for control in a fury of "Whoa there" and "Down boy" until, panting and blowing, Midnight is calmed. Then, wiith muzzles nuzzling and hooves stomping in unison, a new alliance forms.
"It's my turn to be the horse now!" pipes one of the riders...
"Yes you've done it long enough..." agrees the other, as fruitless in protestation, up into the saddle I climb and it's off into the wild frontiers of my memory.
One last jump and I'm back through to domesticity again - but untamed as I think to myself that it's interesting how I don't remember playing any games about washing-up.
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Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 26th February 2007 |
Lovely piece Kathy. Very poetic in parts. I like how you captured the complete immerson of your childhood self and friends in the game.
If you like horses, you should read fellpony's piece over on Children's.
Enjoyed.
Phil. |
Written by Snodlander (507 comments posted) 26th February 2007 |
I echo Phil's comments. vey good, even to one who's playground games were less girly.
If I have one niggle it's that last sentence. It doesn't sit with the rest of the piece, somehow. I think it's the bit that goes 'I think to myself that it's interesting how '
I think it could be 2 sentences, the first ending at 'untamed' and the 2nd starting from 'I don't remember' (Or even 'funny how I don't remember')
HTH |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 26th February 2007 |
This made me laugh: we did the same thing at Highland Elementary! One girl was the horse, another the rider, and a jump rope was the reins, looped around the chest and under the arms of the horse. I really didn't like this as much as the other girls did, but I went along with it, being a weenie. It was more fun being the horse, I seem to recall.
And you are right: no washing-up games that I can recall. But did you do the toilet cleaning thing with one cupped hand and the index finger of your opposite hand plunged back and forth as toilet brush? Maybe only American girls were coarse enough for that one. . .
Phil is right -- there was a nice poetic touch to this. |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 27th February 2007 |
Thanks All
I never had a horse but I think that most little girl's played horses at some point! Sometimes a brave boy would join in but not for long, tiring of the 'girliness' of it or being banned for wanting to fight each other on them!! I will read your suggestions Phil, although I hardly have any spare time.
Our summer dresses were short sleeved pale blue cotton with white collars and cuffs and we would untie our cotton belts and hold on to those... when we got told off by teachers and parents for ripping the seams we had to resort to the skipping rope trick, which was never as good!
I mirror the sentiment of the toilet brush gesture, my view about domestic chores in general I think and I'm sure that English girls are every bit as capable of being as coarse as anyone else...
Funny you mention the poetry in it, because I almost turned it into one!
Cheers,
Kathy
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Hi Kathy
Written by jean.day (2366 comments posted) 27th February 2007 |
I enjoyed reading this, and thought there was much poetry in it too. Lots of alliteration and visual effects.
I hope you will write more about your childhood memories.
I never played horse as a child - and never did the toilet brush thing either - but certainly made mud pies and even ate them on occasion, as a very young child. |
yes
Written by fellpony (1723 comments posted) 27th February 2007 |
I did this - and more; we made hobby horses, the heads made out of stuffed socks, the ears of the fingers off discarded leather gloves, the bodies bits of broom handle - "Miss Read" wrote a book called "Hobby Horse Cottage" which was on the shelves of the school library I remember, and we all read it. And we too did the skipping rope looped round shoulders (I have used a similar technique when teaching people rein handling for carriage driving - you see, all childhood learning has a use eventually).
My hobby horse's reins (not reigns) were made from the straps of my little brother's walking harness that he'd grown out of.
I never, ever, pretended to be a housewife cleaning anything, coarse gestures or not. Once or twice I was cast as "mom at home on the ranch" by the boys playing cowboys, but that was boring.
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Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 27th February 2007 |
Lovely comments, thanks both.
I have quite a few memories from childhood that I would like to use, including also eating mud pies and lovely little 'peas' which turned out to be laburnum pods!
Oops! Sorry about the 'reigns' bit...will alter that immediately.
What unfortunate type-casting having to be the 'mom at home', nowasdays you'd probably be running it!
Kathy |
Written by Livinginanattic (473 comments posted) 27th February 2007 |
Really enjoyed this, reminds me of my sisters who were totally obsessed with horses as children.
This is very vivid and I loved the imagery with all the movement and the thundering hooves. |
Written by anorwegianwood (278 comments posted) 27th February 2007 |
I love your style. I especially like your use of present tense in flashback. I almost always write in present tense, because it gives stories so much energy, and you've definitely done that here. Nice job.
Claire |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 27th February 2007 |
I am delighted with the response that this work has had from people! You are very kind! It seems to lend itself to remaining as a complete piece on its own but I would love how to work out how to extend this memory...
I really felt and remembered being a child and 'lost' in the drama of playing games. So, glad that you had good memories of your sisters 'livinginanattic'! What are your memories of play?
Thanks to you too Claire. I trod carefully because I didn't want to be too free with the images but I wanted to impart the very clear picture that I had in my head. I take your point about the present tense, you can bring an immediacy with it and that in itself is vibrant.
I shall enjoy having a read of both of your works, when I get a spare minute, which isn't often enough!!!
Thanks,
Kathy |
Written by NeilTollfree (51 comments posted) 28th February 2007 |
Lovely piece, made me smile at this ridiculously early time in the morning....agree with above that "I think to myself that it's interesting how.." is a little clunky...something snappier like "it's funny how" (but better)
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Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 1st March 2007 |
Kind words Sir, thank-you very much. Yes, I do agree about the last bit - will alter in due course. Look forward to reading some of your stuff too when I get a spare moment!
Kathy |
Magical Memories
Written by mishmish (389 comments posted) 1st March 2007 |
Hi Kathy
This was very good indeed. I really enjoyed the 'hobby horse' twist. I had in my mind real horses, and was getting into all horsey bits...
It took me back to when I played hobby horses in the garden with my cousins...Such sweet times!
Super stuff...
Well done
Best wishes
Mish x |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 1st March 2007 |
Hi Mish
Many thanks for your kind words. So many people can relate to these childhood games, I am glad that you enjoyed it.
I will read your work when I get some time to myself again - doesn't happen often enough I'm afraid.
Kathy |
Written by Fledermaus (3492 comments posted) 4th March 2007 |
| Heheh. I realize I read them in the wrong order, but I liked this one better than the kitchen window. There's a nice twist in this one. I was imagining some Victorian scene with steeds and riders, when suddenly it turned out a game. Good one! |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 4th March 2007 |
Glad you liked it Fledermaus, thanks. It is interesting what we picture in our heads when reading because images seem to vary so much from person to person.
Cheers,
Kathy |
Written by Leigh (254 comments posted) 8th March 2007 |
Thanks for your comments on my recent piece Kathy.
This was lovely and vivid - I really enjoyed it.
It brought to mind the many childhood escapist games I used to play - and I can see from the response you've had that it must have had the same effect on other readers! |
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