Quicklinks:
|
Great Writing - Home > Non-Fiction > The Laws of Pre-Med
| READING ROOM | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
| COMMUNITY | |||
|---|---|---|---|
|
| ABOUT GREAT WRITING | ||
|---|---|---|
|
| WORK AWAITING REVIEW |
|---|
|
| GW IS... |
|---|
|
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas
and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur
authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry
Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you
can make new friends and improve your creative writing. |
| WHO'S ONLINE |
|---|
| We have 1854 guests online and 4 members online |
Non-Fiction
| print friendly version | |
| The Laws of Pre-Med | |
| By anorwegianwood | ||||||||||
| 27 February 2007 | ||||||||||
|
This is just pointless, but I like it. It's based on a conversation I had with some fellow pre-meds. I wasn't going to post it since it's just ramblings that really don't mean much to most people, but I thought anyone on here who's ever majored in a science would appreciate it. THE FIRST LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS: The increase in the internal energy of a thermodynamic system is equal to the amount of heat energy added to the system minus the work done by the system on the surroundings. THE FIRST LAW OF PRE-MED: You can’t win. Energy cannot be created, so don’t even try. The amount of energy you have is equal to the amount of energy you gain by napping minus the energy you lose by working until 4 am to make up for lost time. The more lab sciences you take at once, the more napping energy input you will gain, and the more work energy output you will lose. Therefore, it is pointless to assume that taking that five hour afternoon nap is a good idea, though it will doubtlessly happen anyway. Such is the way of the universe in all its mystery. THE SECOND LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS: The entropy of an isolated system not in equilibrium will tend to increase over time, approaching a maximum value at equilibrium. THE SECOND LAW OF PRE-MED: You can’t break even. The desk on which are stacked the various textbooks, notebooks, lab manuals, lab notebooks, diagrams, spreadsheets, molecular modeling kits, scientific calculators, periodic tables, metabolic pathway maps, Bibles, scientific dictionaries, etc. will become increasingly disorganized as the chaos value increases. As a result, each assignment will take progressively longer to complete as “digging time” must be allowed before the necessary articles can be found. This makes it impossible for you to actual find time to organize the desk, and so the entropy of the desk increases until the stacks have diffused throughout the entire dorm room, and may be found on the window sill, bed, chair, bookshelf, refrigerator, bureau (top and drawers), roommate’s bed, closet floor, and balanced precariously on the drying rack. Under-the-bed must be left clear to hide all such items on Parent Visitation Day. THE THIRD LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS: As a system approaches absolute zero of temperature all processes cease and the entropy of the system approaches a minimum value. THE THIRD LAW OF PRE-MED: You can’t get out of the game. The very act of cleaning the dorm and thus reducing its entropy drains you of all remaining energy that would normally be used for writing lab reports, researching, writing papers, reading an entire chapter the night before the exam, sleeping, explaining cellular respiration to your hallmate, doing mindless data entry, washing thousands of dollars worth of glassware, eating, calculating calorimetry constants, building models of adenine, etc. Of course, it is impossible to reach absolute zero and total order, so if this task is undertaken, one textbook that does not fit on the bookshelf will invariably be left on the foot of the bed where it will act as a magnet, drawing all other items of the room to it as the entropy level rises once again. THE ZEROTH LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS: If two thermodynamic systems are in thermal equilibrium with a third, they are also in thermal equilibrium with each other. THE ZEROTH LAW OF PRE-MED: Chemists can’t count, but they can state the blindingly obvious in ways that require you to read the statement three times to understand it.
Only registered users can rate and write comments. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
||||||||||
 Previous item
|
Next item
|
|---|