The next in the "Buoyancy" series
Let us all declare today
a day when there’s no need to weigh
Expectations can be feathers,
hopes have need of sturdy tethers
Prayers shall be baby spiders
tiny, weightless, silk thread riders
Worries, why not thistledown?
floating over field and town
Gravity can been suspended
fear and limits ever ended
Let our dreams be but a gas
weightless
timeless
lacking mass
Free from Newton’s apple curse
let our minds be light as…
verse
Oli 28/02/07
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Written by fellpony (1608 comments posted) 28th February 2007 |
Hi Oli - liked this a lot.
Nitpickyness - Gravity can "be"? suspended?
- and gas does have mass, so you could make dreams be "less than" gas.
Not meant to drive you back into depression!
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Many people in the world will agree with
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 28th February 2007 |
| Especially today as they see their money disappear on the world's stock markets. The words: "Expectations can be as feathers - hopes have need of sturdy tethers" and also "dreams be but gas" are aptly true for them. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 28th February 2007 |
Not knowing physics can be a blessing: for me this worked 100%. Fellpony is right, but let me revel in the bliss of my ignorance.
I love the notion that prayers are baby spiders, tiny filaments reaching up to heaven. And the title is great. |
Sue, Sue, Sue!
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 28th February 2007 |
You are of course totally correct...but...
Can't we imagine gravity being suspended? It is when you leave Earth's gravitational pull.
And, interpret my word "lacking" as "not having very much", as in "Oli is lacking money and poetical talent" - rather than totally lacking. Yes, gas has mass, but would not a Kilogram of oxygen take up quite a large space? That's because, unlike me, gases are less dense.
He jumps to the defence of his indefencible doggerel!
Oli
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Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 28th February 2007 |
| Oli, if this is doggerel, I'm in good company. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3351 comments posted) 28th February 2007 |
Never apologise and never explain.Oli. You wrote what you meant. Actually,no need in my case. Like Witzl my ignorance allowed me to enjoy this to the full. As light and dreamy as the subject matter. I don't know why but it quite cheered me up. I can even happily overlook your mention of prayer which usually makes me gag.
That's the thing about poetry I couldn't say why I liked it. I think you just caught the spirit of something intangible
cheers
J |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 28th February 2007 |
Your 'Bouyancy' series... it makes me feel, bouyant. Thanks for the lift up! In your world gravity has been suspended or put on hold or even lifted? Very clever anyway, I wish I'd written it!
Kathy |
Hi, Talisker!
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 28th February 2007 |
I'd just like to add my appreciation, I liked this in much the same "light & frothy" way as others have already said.
One thing, though.
Even before I got to the end of the first verse, the melody to the song "Things are seldom what they seem" [Capn. Corcoran/Little Buttercup, "HMS Pinafore"] was running through my head!!!! Now I shall ahve to play the whole G&S operetta in order to exorcise the song!!!!  |
Pinafore
Written by fellpony (1608 comments posted) 28th February 2007 |
One of my favourites Bagheera, I've played in it twice (Josephine and Buttercup at different ages of my life); Gild the farthing if you will, Yet it is a farthing still! However, Ruddigore and Yeomen are the top two of the canon for me.
Oli, I DO like the buoyancy poems - keep them coming. Ignore me being picky (I know you will if it suits you )
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Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 28th February 2007 |
I too enjoyed this, made me smile. Less cultured than the rest of the GW, G&S loving lot, it made me think of those Honda adverts - sort of surreal cartoony things.
Phil. |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 28th February 2007 |
I'm so glad this reminded someone else of the honda adverts! I was feeling like the only philistine above the fields of the erudite
Liked it Oli, particularly the baby spiders bit, a nice buoyant piece
Elli |
Written by Fledermaus (3281 comments posted) 28th February 2007 |
| The content is rather surrealistic, but I certainly liked the rhyme and style. |
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