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Stranger trhan Fiction ....... |
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By Bagheera
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04 March 2007 |
Heard at the end of a news programme (I kid you NOT!!!) on March 1st
Had to check my calendar to make sure the month was right ........
[it was a local BBC network programme, BTW]
Research has given us a new possible cause of global warming. Scientists have determined that people who EXERCISE too much are contributing to global warming in two ways. 1) They are breathing IN excessive amounts of oxygen, which taken to extremes on a global scale is causing a SHORTFALL of this gas which is vital to all living things. 2) They are then EXHALING inreasing amounts of concentrated Carbon Dioxide, which it contributing to the layer of this gas in the atmosphere and thus exacerbating the problem. I almost expected the newsreader to end off with an announcement that all who exercise will be charged an "exercise tax", or that TB and his State Thought Police intended to make exercising a criminal offence, but we were spared this intrusion (at least on this occasion!) |
Written by Phil (8763 comments posted) 4th March 2007 | Cows' flatulence is also a big problem. (apparently)
I shouldn't worry Bagheera. It seems you can screw the planet any way you like now so long as you plant a tree to offset your carbon use. You can't just go plant one though. You have to pay a third party, tree planting, money making machine to do it for you in some third world country where they'll probably be chopped down for firewood in a few years. (I hope I don't sound too cynical.)
Thanks for the read.
Phil. |
Written by givitsum ( comments posted) 4th March 2007 | Eyup Paul!
I saw this too, or at least a clip about it. There was also another thing where this nerdy dweeb in thick specs, side parting, a checked jacket and brown flannels claimed his studies showed all mans activities during the week, influence the weather on weekends.
I'd recommend stronger locks on the doors to the laboratories myself, stop them from escaping.
Cheers
G. | Hi Paul
Written by jean.day (2908 comments posted) 4th March 2007 | | It's hard to believe it could really be news - but weekends are often rather short on real stories. Maybe they just snuck it in to see how many comments they would get about it. |
Written by coosh (1156 comments posted) 5th March 2007 | | A nice bit o' well-observed nonsense, Bagheera. There was a Congressman in California who commissioned a study on dinosaur flatulence, just to prove we (and the cows) weren't solely responsible for global warming.... but I don't think they managed to include it in the Kyoto Protocol.... yep, reality is often a lot better than fiction. |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 5th March 2007 | Tell me that isn't true, Coosh -- dinosaur flatulence? Could I honestly have been breathing dinosaur flatulence all these years and didn't even know it? Ah, California. I used to think of research like that as 'Keeping Out of Vietnam' studies. But the problem is, the dates are sometimes wrong. 1966 is a sure bet, but not 1985.
As for this exercise excise -- ooh, I'll be in trouble if it's retroactive. Better quit before I get caught. |
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