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Poetry


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The Face

By Faerie_Queen

07 March 2007

There's a face in front of me.
A face I don't recognise.
Brown eyes, large mouth, straight nose.
Freckles sprinkled over the smooth pale skin.
Hair plastered over the eyes.
Blood trickling from the nose, forehead, everywhere.
Mingling with the tears.
Livid bruises spread across the left cheek, creep down the elagant neck.
Bruised hand reaches up, wipes the hair away.
Knuckles swollen.
Eyes scared yet hard, cold, sheilding the truth.
Mouth stern, holding everything in.
Shoulders heave uncontrollably, with cold, fear, pain, hatred.
Want to help, but what can I do?
Who is this girl staring at me, eyes screaming for help?
I can't remember her name.

So I smash the mirror and go to bed.

Reviews

harrowing
Written by kevinrobson73 (371 comments posted) 6th March 2007

suspected it was a mirror early doors but that doesn't deflect from the quality of the piece
well done

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 7th March 2007

I liked this too; hope it isn't autobiographical. And if it is, I hope whoever s/he was, s/he deserved the black eye. Watch out for those glass shards on the floor when you get up.

Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 7th March 2007

Thats seven years bad luck for smashing a mirror - but it seems that your luck was already bad (if this is about yourself).

Just a few spelling errors - el(e)gant, shielding.

The rhthym, such as it is, is rather jagged and staccato.

In short, harrowing, strong emotions, but not a gratifying read or an accomplished poem.

Oli

Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 7th March 2007

I got this in the first two lines and so the reveal at the end had no power. Some nice touches, but the parts don't add up to much in this case. I'm glad others disagree.

Phil.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 11th March 2007

Interesting idea though it's been done a lot before. Maybe would benefit from a 'less is more' kind of approach

Elli

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