the style of ee cummings.let me know what you think.
i like to just look,sometimes escaping perfectly your
view.it is a simple pleasure i like.
my heart flutters differently then.
i like your eyes.the way they mimic courtesans,
i like its grace.i like it when you cry
pearly drops that wet your skin,and the softness
of your touch and which i will
again and again be prisoner
of,i like holding you this way and that,
i like,hastily undressing you,fearful within
of the passing seconds,and what changes it might
bring to mind. . . .and you see me clearly,
and probably i like the way
of you holding me,bodies ageing.
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Written by Talisker (1309 comments posted) 7th March 2007 |
Largely inscrutable. Crappy punctuation.
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Written by amoryblaine (40 comments posted) 7th March 2007 |
Talisker,Talisker,despite ur deep and enlightening remark u seem to have completely missed my intro to the poem-wonder how?u drunk or what?Anything based on ee cummings and conventional punctuation???hello ..wherever did you hear of such a thing??In the land of great poets perhaps??
Unusual capitalisation,layout,syntax and PUNCTUATION with a blatant disregard for form and scansion define his work..However something tells me u like ur work better!The poem could b miserable in many ways?yes perhaps..but not on the points u mention my friend.sorry!  ChEERs! |
Written by Phil (6435 comments posted) 7th March 2007 |
Uncultured slob that I am, I've never read any EE Cummings. (Or would he/she prefer his/her name spelled with lower case letters?) All I can do then is review this as I find it. If this is an accurate reflection of the work of EE Cummings - same goes for him/her.
Poor grammar, ridiculous punctuation, needlessly opaque words, one 'nice' idea at the end. In short, I thought it was pretty awful. Still, can't please everyone.
Phil.
(I may google EEC for a comparison) |
EE Cummings:
Written by Phil (6435 comments posted) 7th March 2007 |
I'm back. Having read a grand total of two poems (and finding out his gender) I have an opinion: can't say I care too much for his style, but there is a certain cadence to his work and power in his words. I assume he was the first to write like this. Just think - if you chopped a cow in half, could you call it art? Only if you're the first - otherwise it's a poor imitation of a novel, if limited, idea.
Phil. |
Phil
Written by amoryblaine (40 comments posted) 8th March 2007 |
| see now i can accept that to an extent.am not a huge fan of the man too.Was just trying out something new ...so thanx for ur reviews.But still think cummings kicks ass..!its very verbal..cheers. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3174 comments posted) 8th March 2007 |
I quite liked the content and sentiment expressed but I think it might be better in the style of amoryblaine
cheers
J |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 11th March 2007 |
I think Jane hit the nail on the head. Being inspired by other people to try new things is good and valid but it is more interesting to see you writing in the style of yourself. This was interesting and not a bad attempt although I don't think you pulled it off - no punctuation would almost have been more effective. I think this style is deceptively hard to accomplish - needs a lot a lot of thought to get it just right. But hey, always interesting to try new things, some of them work, some of them dont and thats just the way things are.
Elli |
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