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Poetry
Confirmation
By no1butClo
09 March 2007
Not sure what to make of this one, put it up anyway...

The wrapping was patterend with Iris,
Narcissus and Daffodils, cut and
taped neatly aroud the gift at
the centre of this paper garden
and so many lives.

Unwrapped, the hardback 'Study Bible' gleams
in low lamp-light, a late celebration
of an event that comprised of a
sweltering church, almond oil
and a feeling of relief.

Flicking through translucent pages
brings to mind the giver, sitting
in - part of - a seveties armchair, balancing a
weightier tome on soft cotton slacks,
always awake, though you'd never think it.

The note in the front is conscise
like his usual speech, but with something hidden
something to find. A name, chapter: verse.

A grandfather's message to his granddaughter's
faith, and learning: St. John XVII:19 -

'And for their sakes I sanctify myself,
so that they also may be sanctified in truth'

Reviews
Mmm...
Written by kitten_princess (31 comments posted) 10th March 2007
Not one of my favourites, I'll be honest. 
 
It's alright, I liked reading it. Didn't really hit me like your best stuff does, didn't drag me in. Can't work out why. 
 
Keep writing, I have you on my feed list :) 
 
Kitten x

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 11th March 2007
The third stanza is the best part of this. If I were you I'd be tempted to rework the piece around that. Then again this is probably personal to you - we aren't necessarily going to get much out of it as readers which is ok once in a while as long as you dont make a habit out of it lol. 
 
Elli

Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 12th March 2007
I think this is lovely. To me it's an expression of looking back at an event that was once very meaningful, but now not knowing what place it has in your life. The paper garden metaphor in the first stanza is a bit confusing, (also not sure why the flower names have capitals) and there's a couple of spelling mistakes ("seventies", "concise"), but otherwise very well written.

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