This is probably ( one never really knows ) the last sonnet on this theme. I hope that the sequence will be taken to be read in the order: Out of the Winter Darkness :
End and Beginning :
Before the Birth :
Two Mirror Sonnets.
My warmest thanks to those several gentle ladies who read and advised previous to those publishings
Before the Birth
Stand firm as if you grew from the deepest core
of earth itself ; and let the nightdress slide
from shoulders ,breasts and hips down to the floor
to leave you unadorned in swelling pride :
the strength of an ancient Venus you present:
a goddess freed of her concealing robes,
prepared to suckle ; displaying in deep content
her faintly weeping nipples on their globes.
Full promise shows in a tracery of blue
set above strong thighs on a rounded swell
wherein the seed of loves' past passions grew ;
and quickening movements now their thriving tell .
Enfolding the growing child that is within
Your body awaits for a new life to begin.
|
To Patterjack
Written by Josie (2825 comments posted) 10th March 2007 |
| Of course, being an expert, you have written this sonnet with great aptitude. It is a long time since I have given birth, but an experience such as that is not likely to be forgotten. You, as a man, might have taken in more things of which to write, but for my part, letting slip a nightdress would not have been my choice at that time. It was difficult enough letting modesty drop, and yet with the effort I had no time to think. As a man you may call it "swelling pride" - but for most women it is a body shape that we wish to get rid of at that particular time. I must say, though, that during pregnancy I (and I expect other women too) looked extremely attractive, with skin blooming and with such a wonderful feeling of well-being. But just before the birth (and my daughter was overdue), I just felt a nesting instinct and scrubbed everything I came across. It would be interesting to know how others felt. |
Written by fellpony (1656 comments posted) 10th March 2007 |
I liked the ambiguity of the last line - anticipating both the new life of the child, and the different kind of life a parent has once the child actually arrives!
I didn't think this was about preparation for the birth itself, incidentally - just an appreciation of the state of visible pregnancy. Or am I wrong?
We get a lot of good and more rubbish poems written about lust/love, but not much (of any quality) about this. It is nice to see a poem expressing the pride and admiration of a father.
|
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 10th March 2007 |
Love this poem.
I found myself agreeing with both Josie and fellpony. Like Josie, when I was pregnant, I got nesting urges and wanted to scrub everything -- I just lacked the energy to do it. Like fellpony, I appreciate a poem of this quality about a woman ready to give labor, from the father-to- be's perspective.
Almost makes me want to go out and do it again, and boy, this must be a good poem if it's had that effect on me. |
Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 10th March 2007 |
Another special one Brian. A romantic rather than gritty interpretation, but one that expresses the beauty and magic/mystery within and without. I could go on about this one - but you've said it so well yourself in the poem.
Excellent.
Phil. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3446 comments posted) 10th March 2007 |
Well I’ve read it a few times now and I’ll offer a few comments.
I wanted to think about it for a while. I’m a bit in awe of your facility with words they paint such a vivid picture and there doesn’t seem to a wasted word in it. I suppose it is an idealized picture of pregnancy, but then that is the job of the poet; to raise the inspirational stakes. It is enlightening to see it from a different point of view. Pregnancy is just something you live with for 8 odd months is mostly and inconvenience and encumbrance [quite apart from the physical problems and pains] but in quieter moments you do feel the excitement and promise of it. I really regarded it as a means to an end. I wanted the child and couldn’t wait for it to be over. But the poem made me look back and it was a time of promise. It is the job of the poet to try and take us beyond the everyday and take a wider view and in that I think you have done well, though it is a very male view but then of course it would be and you have every right to have one, especially as you express it so lyrically
|
yes
Written by patterjack (1328 comments posted) 11th March 2007 |
... written indeed from a man's viewpoint ; a man who also knows the less pleasant side of the situation but who has a great wonder and admiration for its beautiful side as well.
Thank you for your appreciation of his appreciation
patterjack |
Usual High Quality
Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 11th March 2007 |
Consistently good stuff throughout this series. Clearly, it pays to do one's homework with the "gentle ladies" of this parish.
I think it is a brave thing that you do to try to interpret femininity from a male perpective - kind of like Lewis Grassic Gibbon with his "Scots Quair", putting yourself in the maternity frock, so to speak.
Somehow, I detect a melancholy though - these seem both nostalgic and introspective - kind of "summing up" the Patterjack life. Saying that, I hope you can be with us for many years to come!
Oli  |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 11th March 2007 |
Well I feel a bit of a fraud commenting on this! But I like it. A male perspective of course but no less valid for being so and it's a heartening thought that through the back pain and haemorrhoids etc there may be moments at least when one's lover is thinking such thoughts! Entertaining and enlightening lol
Elli |
Written by mmSeason (32 comments posted) 16th March 2007 |
I've just discovered this site and didn't expect to join, but this poem has made me register. So it's your fault, Brian. This and the related 3 sonnets are lovely. This is my favourite and technically i think the best, but the mirror ones make me smile too.
I hope (no - i know) i'm not the only woman in the world who can agree with you about "swelling pride". I haven't forgotten the uncomfortable heavy annoyingness of my pregnancies, but the first was just a delight and even the worst had that beauty of what the body's doing, and why, always in the background.
It's nice to read the man's angle on these womanly experiences.
My only quibble is that "await" doesn't take "for"; one waits for a bus, or awaits a bus, not both. I think the rhythm can stand that change too.
You say the series is probably finished, but i would suggest (request) one to fill the chronological gap between Before the Birth and the Mirrors - early motherhood, or later motherhood? Up to you of course.
Thanx for getting me involved and for some great poems! I suppose i'll have to post one or two of my own now...
mand |
that previous review ...
Written by patterjack (1328 comments posted) 16th March 2007 |
... is a bit flattering -- so I will flippantly !!! remark, to cover a slight embarrassment , that it makes me out like a bit of a bell-wether , or an old goat that is to be found near the front of a flock .
Either description , be it wether or goat , is personally apt nowadays. 
But thank you very much
patterjack |
Written by rushwilde (16 comments posted) 11th May 2007 |
Wow. This is really good. it's descriptive and imagrey provoking-it cast a great visual image in my head...and it is written in such a way, that each reader may honestly think that their image is exactly what the poet intended.
great job.
^^ |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.
Previous item
