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Poetry


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Lost in Transit

By Livinginanattic

11 March 2007

I'm not sure if this is poetry as such, it's intended more as gentle humour which rhymes (sort of) and has verses. Hope it's worth the read.

Delivery failure, carded twice;
Back to sender overnight.
Goods went missing, not returned.
Apologies for what they're worth.

No more left, can't replace
just right now, can you wait?
Due in shortly, don't know when.
Apologies; once again.

The birthday is over, that's no help,
Bought the gift from somewhere else.
Refund needed please, right now!
Bank account is running down.

Reviews

HI LIA
Written by jean.day (2326 comments posted) 11th March 2007

This is good fun, and something we can all relate to.

Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 11th March 2007

Yep, good fun. Nice bouncy rhythm that suited the style of poem. It's enough to make you reach for a gun isn't it?

Phil.

Written by Livinginanattic (465 comments posted) 12th March 2007

Steady on Phil! We all have to start somewhere. I'm not sure if you mean it's the poem or the subject matter that's rattling you. I'll have to admit the rhythm probably does come across a bit more bouncy than I intended.

Thanks for the feedback though, and Jean too.

Cheers

Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 12th March 2007

Great stuff, very fun and good rhythm and rhyme.

Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 12th March 2007

Subject matter - but I wasn't in a good mood yesterday. Today - a light flogging would surfice.

I liked the poem.

Phil

Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 12th March 2007

You can flog me for my spelling: suffice.

Written by Livinginanattic (465 comments posted) 13th March 2007

Thanks GK, I'm glad you enjoyed this.

And Phil, thanks for clearing up that misunderstanding and I'm glad you liked the poem. However I was fully prepared for any negative reviews as I had no idea what sort of reaction this would get.

In my last job I had to deal with a lot of returns and lost in transits. Some of them were a lot worse than the above and far too convoluted for a short poem, the worst cases would drag on for months. I was constantly amazed at the stubbornness and bureaucratic mindset of some people. It's something I felt I needed to get off my chest.

hello
Written by no1butClo (339 comments posted) 15th July 2007

haven't come accross your stuff before, made me smile =)

poem more, it's worth it, well done :grin

clo x

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