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Poetry
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Pas de deux
By patterjack
12 March 2007
With a little  help  from a  friend .

Pas de  deux

Come dance with me , she said  ,  and  took  my  hand ,
leading me onto the floor amid the others 
who with their expertise, left me to blush 
at her skills and my own ineptitude ; 
but not dismayed at my clumsy footedness
she smiled her warmest smile and moved in close .

We simply stood , and within her warm embrace
I took the scent of her youth and loveliness .
She put her cheek to mine and whispered softly :
Now take me with you. Trust that I will fit 
my steps to yours .Just improvise.
 
And so I did ,and so she followed me 
not only in that dance, but further still
into a newer, wider whirl of life and love.

It has not finished yet, this pas de deux

Reviews
sweet
Written by fellpony (1573 comments posted) 12th March 2007
a nice metaphor, neatly worked through.
No faux pas...
Written by Talisker (1321 comments posted) 12th March 2007
A fine metaphor for what appears to have been a fulfilling life together.  
 
Glad to hear that another male shares my clumsy footedness :)  
 
Oli :)
Great
Written by Josie (2732 comments posted) 12th March 2007
It was rather the same story for me - for didn't we all meet our "loves" on the dance floor. Great writing Brian. I really enjoyed it. I have to add that my "love" has two left feet, whilst I was brought up on ballet, tap and everything else. ha ha

Written by gutterkitty (362 comments posted) 12th March 2007
Sorry Brian but this strikes me as being a tad clichéd and lacking your usual unique touch. A nice metaphor though :)

Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 12th March 2007
I have to disagree - this is 100% you Brian. It may not have the complexity of some of your work but it works perfectly for me. 
 
A simple metaphor that flowed through the piece very well. 
 
Effective poetry doesn't have to be high brow and cryptic - in fact, I think it rarely is. For me, lovely. 
 
Phil.

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3295 comments posted) 12th March 2007
It was the directness of this that appealed to me, immediately accessible and heartfelt but what really made it sparkle and and spun it round for me was 
"Trust that I will fit  
my steps to yours .Just improvise." 
What wonderul advice Just improvise, no set steps or rules to follow you dance your own steps to your own rhythm. No-leads and you flow into each other. It's what makes your relationship special. And it's what made this poem special 
cheers 
J 
oops
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3295 comments posted) 12th March 2007
That doesn't make sense I meant to say no-one leads 
I really should't review this late at night 
J
Thank you all
Written by patterjack (1159 comments posted) 12th March 2007
The trouble is that for me a good line nowadays is hard to find -- and make of that what you will . 
 
patterjack :grin
the angle of the dangle
Written by AnnieSeed (128 comments posted) 10th May 2007
I like this very much - it really works for me. I don't find it cliched at all, but that could be because my partner and I go to dance lessons together. I like the last line especially, and the image of a lifelong relationship being like the partnership of two dancers.  
 
PS "The angle of the dangle" is a favourite phrase of our dance teacher! :grin

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