You know who you are. You're responsible for this!
I stand in the rain
And I have a soggy boot.
And I remember how you
Made my hard and brittle heart soggy, from its tip to the very root.
The rain drip drips
Down upon my head.
Like your words would drip drip
Down on me incessantly, driving me mad, until the only way I could shut you up was to get you in my bed.
The mud sucks
At each step I take
And I am reminded
Of how you would suck the life-force out of me, though not in a sexual way, but in a way that would leave me wet and lifeless, like a Tesco hake.
The rain gets in my eyes
So I can’t see right
Your love did the same
Blinding me to the obvious charms of Mary, who I could have had any time, not just when she was tight
And I’m probably
Going to get a cold.
You made me sick as well
Deep in my soul, that will still be scarred, even when I’m old.
Everything is grey
In the rain-light.
My life is grey too.
There’s a Star Trek showing on the pictures. Are you free Friday night?
|
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 13th March 2007 |
This is just awful. But mine was even worse and yet it didn't even place. So sorry -- back to the drawing board, I'm afraid!
Well, okay -- the Tesco hake was good, I'll give you that.
As for Friday, I've got to take my youngest to swimming lessons and then the eldest has her rifle practice, and then after that I'm doing a shopping run, then ferrying the brats back home. And Star Trek is out -- that hasn't made it up to Scotland yet. But maybe we could work something out between rifle practice and the supermarket? |
Is this a private matter?
Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 13th March 2007 |
Excuse me, this is GW - not a dating agency for those old enough to know better!
I liked the Tesco hake too though.
Oli  |
Written by Snodlander (507 comments posted) 13th March 2007 |
At my age, I take my pleasures where I can find them.
Even Tesco's fish counter! |
Teenage Angst
Written by CliffBowes (176 comments posted) 13th March 2007 |
Puts me in mind of the old limerick:
There was a young poet from Japan.
Whose verse nobody could scan.
When asked about this he replied with great wit "It's because I always try to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can."
But I like the idea of the teenage mind, with his/her relevant importance of events. But I am not guilty!! |
cliff
Written by Snodlander (507 comments posted) 13th March 2007 |
| Yes, I know a variant of that limerick, but you are reading way too much into this poem. Relevant importance of events? Ye Gods, Witzl is right! This poem is far too good |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 13th March 2007 |
See? I'll PM you a winning sample, the Real Thing. Read it and be awestruck.
|
Written by stevetroster (1588 comments posted) 13th March 2007 |
He's a poet
And doesn't know it...
It appears that no-one else does either.Still, 50(+) hits! Shit, you must have some rep'.
I came to poets corner to get away from the likes of you! Is nothing sacred?
'Rhyme and humour, what a mix!
You area silly sod.
For those who previously havn't been warned,
Beware the hand of Snod.' |
Written by fellpony (1652 comments posted) 13th March 2007 |
very funny. Awful, in the worst style of MacGonagall, and sending it up beautifully.
The only comment I'm going to make is that the rhyme and the structure are far too obvious for the style you're attempting.
Five-star rhubarb, Snodders.
|
Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 13th March 2007 |
Yep, awful; but wonderfully entertaing with it. Well done Snoddums. Loved the hake line.
Phil. |
Written by Tusk (53 comments posted) 13th March 2007 |
It IS terrible, which is why it's so brilliant.
You were mocking teenage angst........? |
Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 14th March 2007 |
Another brilliant piece of comedy :P With your reputation you can get away with anything and convince us it's humour 
Because you probably take a low rating as a compliment for this, I reward you with one star too :P |
Written by austheke (35 comments posted) 6th May 2007 |
i'm not sure what you deserve for this... a funny take on the normal teen angsty thing. made me smile.
that's right, beware the hand of snod. |
Written by goingtothedogs (58 comments posted) 23rd May 2007 |
| That take sthe prize as possibly the most bloody awful poetry I've ever read. Please tell me that it was deliberate...... |
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