I became slightly intimidated when a bespectacled tramp rode his bicycle towards my bench, dismounted, and proceeded to sit down next to me in as close proximity as would a relative or a girlfriend. The situation became stranger still when the tramp presently began talking (I presumed to myself as there was nobody else in the vicinity) without ever introducing himself or even once look me in the eye. The intimidation I was still feeling stopped me from reacting to the situation in any way other than to stare down at my shoes and listen intently.

After some considerable time – perhaps ten minutes – I braved a side glance at his face and was shocked to discover that he looked like a film star. Now, I do not mean this in the sense that he looked handsome and healthy (on the contrary, he looked quite the opposite) but in the sense that he looked like one particular film star that I had seen in a feature the previous week. Thinking back, I believe it was for this reason that I gave grace to his inane ramblings. Thinking back, I am glad I did, as his talk was fascinating and centred on his endeavours for the procurement of a new hallucinogenic drug.

The tramp explained to me (albeit whilst looking in the opposite direction) that his permanent residence was in the woodland directly adjacent to the hostel in which I was staying. Despite it being obvious that he possessed no decent dwelling, due to his soiled appearance, I was still surprised that he lived in the woodland and that, proven by this fact, people still lived wild in woodlands even here in the prosperous West! He then explained that within this woodland there grows a plant the seeds of which, when ground and smoked, produce effects on the brain of a similar nature to that of the marijuana plant, a claim I found highly unbelievable, although I showed nothing to indicate my doubts to the speaker.

I continued to listen patiently but spent less time staring at my shoes and more time looking at his unnervingly familiar profile. It transpired that the only thing stopping the tramp from creating a marketable product from this plant, and thereby increasing his quality of life and social status, was the fact that without the necessary tools and equipment he was unable to extract the narcotic seeds in any great quantity. For this, he disclosed, he would need five hundred dollars from myself and a month in which to produce the initial results and would I be interested?

It was with this offer that he finally looked me in the eye as he awaited my response. The eyes, predictably, screamed madness and I instantly realised that had I been replaced in the scene with a solid brick wall his entire exhortation would still have taken place. I failed to respond in any way to this offer and, in doing so, I realise now that my silence to him then was equally as inappropriate as his initial words were to me. My rudeness went clearly unnoticed however as the tramp, perhaps in a hopeful final attempt, then informed me of the method he was currently using to extract the seeds.

He would place a reasonable quantity of the plant into a large plastic bag, such as a bin liner, and then add a reasonable volume of ice cubes (I did ask myself where he acquired this ice but swiftly remembered that these people have ways). The tramp would then vigorously shake the bag and, of course, the seeds would stick to the ice cubes, as pins would stick to a magnet. The ice cubes and their valuable cargo would then be taken from the bag, piled into a bucket and left to melt. Once completely melted the seeds would form a layer on the top of the water and could easily be extracted by the owner.

It struck me that even people on the fringe of life can be capable of such wonderful ideas.