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Poetry
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Master Bates.
By amoryblaine
14 March 2007
All of seventeen and sprawled
On the roof he lies
Pants rolled down his ankles
He looks out to the skies.

A refreshing and mellow breeze
Carresses his thighs
Blood gushes to the right places
And he lets out a sigh.

The city below with its orchestra of gore
Produces its own symphony
His hands reach out and conduct
The whole ceremony.

That girl in class
The woman at the mall
His third grade teacher
He will all of them enthral.

He breaks into a sweat
His body tightens up a bit
His hands start to ache
But frantically he goes for it.

Skin on skin
Dark and light
Sweat on sweat
He loves them all tonight.

And then in an instant
He is released
Like God waking up inside of him
Or maybe it was the beast?

Now its become his mission
To answer that question
So in an effort to do so
He visits the roof-often.




Reviews

Written by Talisker (1300 comments posted) 14th March 2007
Ah, the old colleague of Seaman Staines... 
 
Gives another angle entirely to the Drifters classic "Up on the Roof".  
 
I quite enjoyed this actually, but evidently less than you did. 
 
Oli 
 
:grin
Oli
Written by amoryblaine (40 comments posted) 14th March 2007
Ben Dover,Roger The Cabin Boy...hehe didnt think anyone would remember!cheers.

Written by Phil (6388 comments posted) 14th March 2007
Sorry, but I see no merit in this. Far from being a prude (I'll refrain from saying I enjoy masterbation as much as the next man.) I just couldn't see the quality or entertainment in this one. 
 
PS - Remember Captain Pugwash with much affection. How did they get away with it? 
 
Phil.

Written by stevetroster (1398 comments posted) 14th March 2007
It is just as well that our submissions are not screened, or you would never have been able to pull this off.

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 14th March 2007
Okay, I cannot resist. This reminds me quite a bit of Baron Tostov, the ruined pole. Shame on me for giving you a hand in this.
Captain Pugwash
Written by fellpony (1507 comments posted) 14th March 2007
didn't have those characters in it - someone is remembering a rude skit on the dear old fellow. 
 
thought the work unnecessarily long, to be honest. There are some clever lines, but the rest doesn't -- well, perhaps you should supply the double entendre, having got all the obvious stuff out of the way.
Master Bates.
Written by CliffBowes (176 comments posted) 15th March 2007
I find it a bit overly long (The subject obviously didn't) and not really a topic I could feel inspired to write poetry about - it may however make a decent film, perhaps a  
"J Arthur Rank" production! 
Cliff

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 17th March 2007
Bloomin' heck...too long too long...didn't do it for me. Then again I have read much worse. 
 
Elli

Written by Xanthe (12 comments posted) 29th March 2007
Okay, 
 
Girl! 
 
Still, I thought it was pretty funny.  
 
Well written... maybe too well for the subject matter, but hey, who really cares? 
 
~Xanthe 

Written by no1butClo (337 comments posted) 18th July 2007
Bit of a chuckle, nothing special, but fun :)

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