Chapter 6

“I’ll get it!” said Donna, as she heard the letterbox rattle, and the letters drop on to the mat.  “It’s probably bills and junk mail, anyway!”

She picked it up, and made her way into the kitchen, where Rosie was giggling hysterically, and Jon was grinning like the proverbial Cheshire cat.  She looked at each of them in turn.

“What’s so funny?” she said, throwing the post on to the table.

Before Jon even had a chance to draw breath, Rosie pointed at him and said, as clear as day:

“Daddy farted!”

“Rosie!!”  He tried to sound angry, but just ended dissolving into helpless laughter.

“Well?” said Donna, trying to contain herself.  “Did you?”

“It just slipped out!” he said.  “It always sounds worse when you’re sitting on a wooden chair!”

“Too much information there!” said Donna, putting her arms around him, and leaning her head on his shoulder. “Well, anything interesting in the mail?”

He looked through it – Donna had been right, it was mostly bills and junk mail.  Disappointed, he put it down on the table, suddenly becoming very thoughtful.  Every day he looked for the mail, always hoping there might be a letter from Emily, but he knew he was hoping against hope.  However, it never stopped him from looking,  just in case, one day…..  Donna noticed the expression on his face.

“Give it up, love!” she said, softly, running her hand through his hair.  “She’s not going to write!   I know it’s hard, but try and accept it – for your sake as well as hers!”

“I know you’re right, Donna!” he said, putting his arms around her waist, and resting his head on her chest.  “But you know what they say, never lose hope – if you lose hope you lose everything!”

“You haven’t lost everything!” she protested, her eyes filling with hurt.  “You’ve got me, and you’ve got Rosie!  Sometimes it seems to me we come a very poor second to Emily!”

He looked up at her, his eyes full of tears.  What was he doing to his precious family? What on earth made his wife think she was second best?

“You’ll never come second to anybody!” he said, his voice a husky whisper.  “You and Rosie mean more to me than anything in the world – you give me a reason to get up in the morning,  I love you both more than life itself, if anything happened to either of you……”

“Shh!” she said, holding him close.  “I know you do!  I was just over-reacting, that’s all!  The thought of losing you to anybody is more than I can bear, that’s all!”

“It’s not going to happen!” he said, getting up and taking an increasingly irritable Rosie from her chair.  “We’re a team!  Don’t you ever forget that!”

“I won’t!” she replied, giving him a quizzical look.  “Just make sure you don’t score any own goals!”

Not quite sure what she meant by that, he decided not to answer.  His thoughts turned to their impending day out.  They had planned to have a meal in the café at the forest centre, then go for a walk along the beautiful country paths, and enjoy a view of the lake.

With Rosie giggling excitedly, they all got ready, and got into the car.  The centre was only a few miles away, and it did not take long to get there.  They parked the car, and got Rosie into her buggy after a fight – she wanted to walk, but Donna did not want her to get lost in the grounds.

She linked arms with Jon as he pushed the buggy, gazing contentedly at him.  It was wonderful being a proper family for a change, without him having to rush off somewhere, she wanted to make the most of days like these, having him all to herself.  Little did she know just how much he needed this precious time, too, just to maintain his sanity. As much as he loved the fans, sometimes he just wanted to be alone, or just sit and talk with his wife and daughter.  It was wonderful to just walk along at his own pace, with the sun on his face, as though they were totally cut off from the rest of the world.

“Get out!” said Rosie, looking up at him.  “Walk, daddy!”

“No!” he said, leaning over the buggy to get a better look at her.  “We’re going to the café to have something to eat, then we’ll go for a walk – maybe you can get out then!”

“Walk now!!” she shouted, kicking her feet on the footrest.  “Walk now!!! Get out! Get out!”

“Stop it right now!” snapped Jon, stopping the buggy.  “If you don’t pack it in we’ll go straight home!”

Rosie was so surprised at her daddy shouting at her, she stopped in her tracks.  She put out her tongue, and turned her back on him, giving the footrest one last defiant kick.

“How do you do it?” said Donna, her face a picture.  “One word from you…..”

“It’s probably because she doesn’t see me as much as she does you” he said, his eyes clouding over at the thought.  “I can't think of any other explanation!”

They arrived at the café, and found a quiet table in the corner.  Donna established what they all wanted, and went up to the counter to order it.  The girl behind the counter said to her:

“You are SO lucky!”

“Why?” said Donna, knowing full well what she meant!

“Married to that sexy beast!  God, what I’d like to do to him!”

“Well!” said Donna, trying to keep her cool.  “As I am married to him, I suggest you  keep your mucky little innuendoes to yourself, and just serve me!”

“Sorry!” said the girl, giving her a  petulant look.  “What would you like?”

Donna placed her order, and went back to their table to wait for it to be brought to them.  She told Jon what the girl had said, but his reaction was not what she had expected.

“I was hoping no-one would recognise me!” he said, a pained expression on his face.  “I just want a bit of peace and quiet!  Is that too much to ask?”

“No, of course not!” said Donna, putting her hand on his.  “I just thought you’d be flattered!”

“I suppose I should be” he said, sighing and leaning back in his chair.  “but for some reason I’m not – I just want to be left alone!  I’m such an ungrateful git, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re just human – that’s all!”

The girl brought their order over, and walked off without giving him a second glance.  Donna’s strongly worded warning had obviously worked!  Apart from a few furtive glances, and smiles, which he gratefully returned, they were left in peace to enjoy their meal, and, strapping Rosie back into her buggy, they walked out of the café, and began to make their way along the pathways.  The forest centre covered miles of beautiful countryside, and wetlands, with all kinds of unusual wildlife.  As they walked along the path, deep in conversation, they saw a couple coming towards them, pushing a child in a wheelchair – no, it couldn’t be…..

“Is that who I think it is?” he said, glancing at Donna.

“If you think it’s Emily, then yes, it probably is!” she replied.

As the couple drew closer, he could see that it was indeed Emily, with her parents.  Why, out of all the places they could choose to visit, did they have to come here?  He wanted to speak to her, but was not quite sure what to say.  Emily’s face lit up as she recognised him.  She looked up at her father, who was pushing her wheelchair.

“Daddy!” she said, smiling up at him.  “Look who it is, daddy!”

“I’m well aware of who it is!” he said, not even stopping to look at him.  “Come on, Emily!  We’re going home!”

“I’ve got no choice but to go with you, have I?” she said, her lips trembling, and her eyes filling with tears.  “Daddy, I want to talk to Jon!”

“We’ve been through that!” snapped her father.  “Now, just forget about him!”

He turned back as he heard footsteps hurrying up behind him.

“Jon!” said Emily, holding her arms out to him.  “Can I have a cuddle?”

Before her father could protest, she locked her arms around his neck.  He held her as tightly as her dared, feeling the sting of tears in his eyes.  He had never been able to refuse her anything, why couldn’t her parents see that he just wanted to be her friend, and that he would never hurt her?

“That’ll do!” snapped her father, pulling the chair away.  Just before they walked away, he stopped momentarily, and looked at Jon, his face expressionless.

“What does it take to get through to you?” he said. “We don’t want you in our daughter’s life!  She doesn’t need you, so just get used to it!  You’re nothing to her – do you hear me – nothing!”

With that, they were gone – once again.  All this time, Donna had been watching from a short distance away, her heart slowly breaking on his behalf.  He walked back to her, his shoulders hunched, tears streaming down his face.  The pain in his eyes was almost more than she could bear.  She put her arms around him, pulling him close to her.

“Oh, darling!” she said, her voice a whisper.  “I’m so sorry!  I don’t know what to say to make you feel better!  I’m so sorry!”

“Forget it!” he said, pulling away from her, trying to hide his pain, he did not want to be seen crying in public, it would be too humiliating.  “Shall we walk over that hill, and sit by the lake?  I’ve heard that the sunset is beautiful!”

“Okay” she said, surprised at his reaction, and, taking his hand, they walked over the small hill in front of them, and settled down, a safe distance from the lake, and took Rosie out of her buggy, where she played happily in front of them.  Donna looked around to make sure they were safe from prying eyes, then, cupping his face in her hands, she kissed him long and tenderly.  As he returned her gentle caresses, Rosie looked up and shouted:

“Mummy – kiss daddy!”

“I just did!” said Donna, smiling.

“Kiss daddy! Kiss daddy ‘gain!” she said, clapping her hands, and bouncing up and down on the grass.

“You heard the lady!” said Jon, giving her that heartstopping smile, reminding her of one of the many reasons she had fallen in love with him.  “Kiss daddy!”

She did as she was asked, as Rosie watched, giggling delightedly.  She sighed as she heard the shrill ringtone of her mobile. She fished it out of her pocket, and, seeing that it was one of her friends, she began a lengthy conversation, ignoring her husband’s rather pointed remarks, one of them being that he would have time to read War and Peace by the time she had finished!

“Who the hell was that?” he said, when she had finally hung up.

“That was my friend Mandy!” she replied.  “She wants to know if I’d like to come out for a drink with her – it’s her birthday.  Do you mind?”

“Why should I?” he said, cradling his rapidly wilting little girl in his arms.  “You’ve been with me all day – I don’t begrudge you a night out with a mate!”

Donna’s friend picked her up at seven, leaving Jon to get Rosie ready for bed.  He did not mind doing this, after all, Donna was doing it day in, day out while he was away from home.  For some reason, she did not want to go to bed, and began to play him up.

“Not going!” she said, laying her head on his chest.  “No bed!”

“Yes, bed!” said Jon, beginning to lose patience.  “It’s been a long day, and you need to go to bed!  You’re tired, and so am I!”

Without waiting for further protests, he picked her up, and carried her up the stairs. He lay her down in her cot, and pulled the covers over her. She kicked them off, so he pulled them over again, cussing under his breath. He went downstairs, her cries of protest ringing in his ears.  He made himself a cup of tea, and switched on the TV, hoping she would go to sleep eventually, but she didn’t!  Sighing, he made his way back upstairs, and went into her room.  He pulled her covers over, and stroked her face, trying to soothe her.  He could not help noticing how hot she was – she must be teething again.  He took the bottle of Calpol from the bathroom cabinet, and gave her a dose – that would help, he thought. Kissing her gently on the forehead, he made his way downstairs.

Very soon, Rosie fell quiet.  He kept listening for her, but she remained quiet.  As he sat there, the TV turned off, his thoughts turned to his encounter with Emily.  He kept going over and over it again in his head, trying to make sense of it.  Why did her parents see him as such a threat to her happiness?  Why were they so intent on hurting him as much as they could?  These and other questions swirled around his brain, until, eventually, his head was pounding.  He felt his eyes slowly closing, and before he knew it, he had drifted off to sleep.  He was suddenly jolted awake by Rosie’s heartrending cries, they grew more and more persistent.  Forcing himself to wake up, he went upstairs, switching off the living room light before he did so.  He went into Rosie’s room, and picked her up, walking round the room, and he sang softly to her, but, for some reason, it did not have the usual effect.  He just held her, and gently patted her back, until she dropped off to sleep again. As he lay her back down in her cot, his mind was so crowded with thoughts of Emily, that he did not notice the rash that had appeared on her back.  As he got into his and Donna’s bed, he turned over and went to sleep, satisfied that Rosie was sleeping too.  As he lay there dreaming peacefully, little did he realise that, in just a few hours, he would wake to an almost indescribable nightmare…..