|
|
|
print friendly version
|
|
Hamster reign of terror ends peacefully |
|
|
By tat_2man
|
|
15 March 2007 |
How this came about was I was remembering when my son's hamster escaped from his cage and actually jumped me while I was asleep I did not know hamsters could jump but this one jumped right on my face. Thats a horrible way to wake up by the way. After muttering a few words I shall not write down my wife caught the hamster as she made her way past me I noticed she had Snowball in both hands with his little head peeking out and I had a hardcover book in my hands. I was sorely tempted to smack him with the book luckily my "softside" spoke up and he was put unharmed back in his cage.
Hamster reign of terror ends peacefully Families will be able to sleep peacefully tonight knowing that “Snowball” P. Hamster is now in custody. Snowballs heinous crimes include assault, shoplifting, terroristic squeaks, and driving an exercise ball without a license. It all started Thursday night when Snowball somehow escaped his cage and after assaulting his owners he rolled his exercise ball into Arden’s Grocery where he stole celery and ran up Mrs. Arden’s leg and nearly gave her a heart attack. Police were called to the scene but Snowball was no where to be found, an officer who wanted to remain anonymous said ‘I don’t know about ya’ll but I am moving my family away from this crime infested hell hole’. That night many reports came in of seeing Snowball, one such caller said she saw Snowball at The Club ‘partying like it was 1999’ and another caller said he saw him at Bambi’s Bimbo Hut ‘flashing wads of money’. Finally a cruiser spotted Snowball’s exercise ball weaving erratically at the corner of 4th and Willow after a 5 hour standoff Snowball surrendered peacefully, him and an unnamed field mouse were taken into custody. |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3445 comments posted) 15th March 2007 | I expect he got the nickname sweetface in prison and became the "bitch" of some big fat stoat called Bubba.
The bit I didn't buy here was the 5 hour standoff. Ive seen the films and I'm sure he would have been facing 40 patrols cars and died in a hail of bullets.
A very funny piece, it just got better as it went along.
And the motto:- don't be fooled by a sweet furry face
cheers
J |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 15th March 2007 | I've always suspected that hamster intelligence must be underrated -- and now I find your story.
If it happens again, let me know. I have a cat who is just itching to teach your hamster -- anybody's hamster for that matter -- a lesson.
Funny story -- good for you for not throwing the book at him. |
Written by Clifftown (642 comments posted) 15th March 2007 | This was really funny - and your intro actually had me laughing almost as much as the piece itself did. I hope you managed to recover in the end!
I especially liked the idea of the exercise ball being driven without a licence! Great stuff. |
Written by Livinginanattic (465 comments posted) 15th March 2007 | | Like the others I thought this was very funny, I wonder what those 'terroristic squeaks' sounded like? |
Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 16th March 2007 | Enjoyed this, some good touches throughout. It's been suggested to me that I buried our hamster alive. (I thought it was dead, honestly. I never did dig it up to see if it had scratched at the lid of its little coffin.
I think there may be a piece for non fiction here.
Phil. |
Written by goingtothedogs (58 comments posted) 24th May 2007 | Nearly wet myself reading that....
My own first pet was a hamster... "Vandyke" (gods know why I called him that, five years old)
He escaped one night but the following morning my mum found him back in his cage with some strange "red stuff" in his nest.
Turned out that the red stuff was the roses from her curtains which he had carefully chisled, every one, out of their white background | Run for your lives!
Written by Aurora (67 comments posted) 11th September 2007 | Amazingly fast pace and hilarious! loved it! I have a guinea pig called houdini because he always find a way to escape. bet if he and your hamster teamed up there would be no stopping them! lol!
well writen and totally entertaining!!! |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
