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Comedy
Andy Pandy
By wltshr
15 March 2007
Put on stage a couple of years ago as part of a village revue. It seemed to go down well.

For those who remember the show from the 50's and 60's it shouldn't be too difficult to visualise and hear the narrator's voice in your head.

For those who don't remember due to being too young or due to Alzheimers, think stringed puppets and a cheerful feminine enthusiastic middle class voiceover.

(I'd heard of an 80's spoof where the main gag seemed too good not to repeat.)

All criticism gratefully received.

Theme Tune

Andy Pandy’s coming to play, la la la la la la
Andy Pandy’s coming to play tra la la la la la

Andy Pandy’s somewhere in the garden today, let’s go and find him shall we?

(Andy Pandy on swing)

Hello Andy Pandy

Andy Pandy likes swinging, don’t you Andy Pandy?
Do you like to swing children?
I expect some of you do.

Does Teddy swing Andy Pandy?

(Andy shrugs)

You don’t know Andy Pandy?

(Andy shakes his head)

Does Looby Loo swing Andy Pandy?

(Andy Pandy nods his head vigorously)

She does Andy Pandy? We thought she did, didn’t we children?

(Andy Pandy gets off the swing)

What are you doing now Andy Pandy?

(Andy Pandy walks round to the other side and sits down again)

Andy Pandy swings both ways don’t you Andy Pandy?

Does Teddy swing both ways Andy Pandy?

(Andy Pandy shakes his head sadly)

Here comes Teddy now

(Teddy enters his back facing the audience, hiding something at waist level)

Hello Teddy

(Teddy looks over shoulder at audience and waves with one hand)

Have you got something to play with Teddy?
Can the boys and girls have a look?
You want to see what Teddy is playing with don’t you boys and girls?

(Teddy turns round holding a toy helicopter)

What a lovely big chopper Teddy’s got.
I expect you like playing with that don’t you Teddy?
Do you let Andy Pandy play with your chopper Teddy?

(Teddy shakes his head)

(Andy Pandy gets up and indicates for Teddy to get on the swing)

Andy Pandy says if you swing both ways he can play with your chopper. Would you like that Teddy?

(Teddy shakes his head)

Oh Teddy! I think you’re being selfish, don’t you boys and girls?
Do you let Looby Loo play with your chopper Teddy?

(Teddy nods his head)

You do? Oh Good, because here Looby Loo comes now
Hello Looby Loo
Have you seen Teddy’s chopper Looby Loo?
Isn’t it lovely and big?
Have you played with it before?

(Teddy nods his head - Looby Loo shakes hers)

Can Looby Loo play with it now Teddy?
Oh dear Andy Pandy looks sad. Would you like to play with Teddy’s chopper too, Andy Pandy?
You would?

(Teddy shakes his head)

Oh Teddy! Think of a game you can all play.

(Teddy thinks - hits on a bright Idea)

Have you thought of something Teddy?
What is it? Hide and seek?
Turn round and close your eyes Andy Pandy
Are they closed?
Andy Pandy must count to one hundred mustn’t he boys and girls, while Teddy and Looby Loo go off and play hide the chopper

It’s time to go now boys and girls and leave Andy Pandy, Teddy, and Looby Loo to have their fun in the garden.

Goodbye children, goodbye.

Curtain and Theme tune.

Reviews

Written by Moonglum (15 comments posted) 15th March 2007
Two offerings from you so far, an X-rated Punch & Judy and now we have Andy Pandy with Knob jokes. Presumably your village theatre house is the local working-mens club. So when will you be writing some comedy? infact if these were village plays, how do we know that you actually scripted them? But then who else would want to admit to having penned such nonsense? 
Great writing! I fear not.

Written by Phil (6836 comments posted) 15th March 2007
Old material presented in a different way. Good fun. I can see how this would go down well in a local show. 
 
Phil.
Hi Wilts
Written by givitsum (651 comments posted) 15th March 2007
 
Go have a look at this little gem thats doing the rounds, I expect it will be right up your alley(!) 
 
www.veryfunnydownloads.com/funnyvideos/RudeRainbow233.html 
 
Enjoyed, BTW. 
 
Cheers 
 
G.

Written by wltshr (341 comments posted) 16th March 2007
Thanks Phil and G. Checked out Rainbow. Very funny. As you say; right up my alley. 
 
Moonglum - Sorry I haven't tickled your funnybone yet. Perhaps I'll submit something in a different style or an exerpt from a longer piece. 
 
BTW - When it was shown there were a number of small children and old ladies present. The old ladies saw an homage to the "Watch with Mother" genre and the kids seemed to see Andy on a swing and Teddy being selfish with a toy helicopter. Strangely they didn't find it funny either! 
 
I guess you need a smutty mind to see smut. Perhaps it's in the wrong place. Maybe "For Kids"? 
 
Love and hugs 
 
Wltshr

Written by woody44 (777 comments posted) 16th March 2007
This brightened up my afternoon Wilts. I can see this as a sketch on tonights red nose day- after the watershed of course. Nicely done. 
 
Woody
Apologies!
Written by wltshr (341 comments posted) 21st July 2007
Woody, I'm so sorry. 
 
I should have thanked you for your review and encouragement months ago. 
 
Better late than never I suppose. 
 
Best 
 
Wltshr
Apologies!
Written by wltshr (341 comments posted) 21st July 2007
Woody, I'm so sorry. 
 
I should have thanked you for your review and encouragement months ago. 
 
Better late than never I suppose. 
 
Best 
 
Wltshr
Bloody computer!!!!!
Written by wltshr (341 comments posted) 21st July 2007
I've done this twice now in two days! 
 
Doh!

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