The sky was full of bluebells and promises of birth,
and crowned by a dark speck that circled oh so patiently,
patiently, waiting for a second chance at warm, soft flesh.
I climbed Caucasus one breath at a time, my aim:
to sit where Prometheus sat and put down roots
through sun-drenched turf to tie me to the life that flutters
through warm loam. It took three thousand heaving breaths
to carry me from the foothills, steaming heat crawling through my skin,
to where an army guards the mountain's spine, straight-backed and proud,
deeply-rooted ghosts of trees, mocked now by turf, eroding
from the mountain to leave huge swathes of alopecia.
I saw only ancient trees, walked only in cool shadows,
peered only at my boots, absorbed in waves of breath,
the ache of unaccustomed muscles, the tearing of my blistered feet.
The summit just beyond my reach, I stopped and took my rest
upon the mountain's flanks and in the distance saw Prometheus -
in quiet isolation he has claimed this rock once more.
I wondered did the ring Zeus offered with the promise of release
slip through his fingers or has he come to love this mountain?
The sky was full of bluebells and promises of birth,
and crowned by a dark speck that circled oh so patiently,
patiently, waiting for a second chance at warm, soft flesh.
That bird must surely be, of all the beasts, most full of virtue
to wait and wait and circle oh so patiently.
The Titan paid no heed, head bent, sitting in a spreading ring of sand
where his salt tears have turned loam barren,
tears that fail to quench the fires that burn in bloodshot eyes.
He is no longer bound, the rock instead is bound to him
but still he sits and weeps and softly on the breeze I heard him sing.
His song laments a brother - trapped by wide-lashed eyes
and keens in grief for the weight of a thousand ills
which traps a people who long ago stood tall in pride and justice.
A song that rings with curses for a box that can never be shut.
Would that I had strength enough to ask the question in my thoughts.
But I have seen what we have done with fire and did not dare
to ask him if, with foresight, he would give the gift again, so freely.
I climbed down from Caucasus, one breath at a time, stumbling
and falling through tear-smeared scrub and knowing I would never sit
where Prometheus sat. But if I listen, in the silence of the hills,
I may catch a little of his grief, repeated in the windsong.
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HI Elli Written by jean.day (2326 comments posted) 17th March 2007 |
Lovely poem. I like the sound of warm loam and the idea of the mountain having alopecia, and tear smeared scrub. Just wonderful |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 17th March 2007 |
Extremely accomoplished poem Elli. I think that if I were he, I would probably have regretting stealing fire! Having your liver pecked by an eagle every night can't have been much fun. Was Pandora married to his sister? I wouldn't have been able to climb up the mountain to the place where he was tied up, but I was with you in spirit through this poem. Fantastic. Kathy
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Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 17th March 2007 |
Hi Elli I should have said 'regretted' and 'was Pandora married to his brother'! Please forgive my typos! K |
Written by Fledermaus (3448 comments posted) 17th March 2007 |
I never read this myth fully. I knew that Herakles did something to free him, but I had to look a few things up to fully understand your poem. A very nice poem. Is there more to come? Pandora perhaps? |
this , Elli Written by patterjack (1328 comments posted) 17th March 2007 |
is top line stuff and your best yet , It has fluency , directness , more than a little significance . Definitely a 5 star effort patterjack |
Written by Phil (6838 comments posted) 17th March 2007 |
I thought this was very different from your usual style Elli. I also thought it was very successful. You establish a voice in this short piece that communicates a story and feelings of beauty, sadness, wonder. Lovely. Phil. |
I keep coming back to this Written by patterjack (1328 comments posted) 17th March 2007 |
The images have such a resonance - they continue to grip me . The widening out from the personal to the mythological and universal and then the sweep back into the personal linking the two has a satisfying complexity that is so well expressed in the simplicity of the language , particularly in the chiasmus of He is no longer bound, the rock instead is bound to him Praise be for a poem that can carry true emotion and real thought , without a heap of waffling abstracts and without descending into lines chopped short in an effort to tell the world of the author's angst. I envy you the writing of this one Elli !!! patterjack in admiration ! |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 18th March 2007 |
I am coming to this late, Elli, but I too found this a wonderful poem. I've read it several times now, and keep finding more in it. In particular, I love the lines: 'But I have seen what we have done with fire and did not dare to ask him if, with foresight, he would give the gift again, so freely.' I've just finished reading about the fire-bombing of Tokyo -- the great Kanto air raid of March 10, 1945 when 100,000 people were burned to death -- so those lines have a particular poignance for me just now. |
Where Prometheus sat Written by CliffBowes (176 comments posted) 18th March 2007 |
I really like this poem Eli, it is a classical story presented as a modern first person narrative by a present day traveller. Poor old Prometheus had a pretty rough time of it up on that mountain, but then if you play with fire you may get burnt. he was also the first known liver transplant patient. Three cheers for Hercules, the Goodie of the story. Looking forward to reading your next offering. Cliff |
impressive, Elli Written by fellpony (1656 comments posted) 18th March 2007 |
I re-read this several times before I felt ready to comment. I like the changes of viewpoint you achieve. Much above your usual field of vision, and yet personal too. I would make some observations on construction but they'd be purely personal: the thing works as it is - the tingle down the spine is there that gives poetry life.
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I knew... Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 19th March 2007 |
that Patterjack would eulogize about this - I once challenged Brian about his classical proclivities - to which I received a typically eloquent reply. This is a fine poem indeed. Being a bit of a deliberate ignoramus as regards Greek (or any other) mythology, this demanded a visit for me to the God, Wikipedius. So this is a personal Elli-umination of a the classical myth. My only problem is that it is taking someone else's idea (Aeschylus?), and puting a new spin on it. I'm aware that this is a personal prejudice, because many poets utilise mythology, or even other fiction to inspire their own work. I suppose its just not "my bag". You have done it very, very, very well done though, and this is well worthy of five stars. Oli |
If we assume ... Written by patterjack (1328 comments posted) 19th March 2007 |
... that ideas should not be restated , none of us , I think , would write at all . My admiration for this is for the personal emotion expressed rather than for the mythological content But it is pleasing to see you out of your own mythological bag Oli.
patterjack |
Written by Gwynedd (77 comments posted) 24th June 2008 |
| Great images. You feel as if you're there. |
Extraordinary! Written by Katanga (1389 comments posted) 21st August 2008 |
I have read this several times, and am still way out of my depth! But that doesn't mean that I can't recognise it as brilliant poetry . . . Really got enthralled by this . . . I shall look up the mythology in due course! Respect! Cheers! John |
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