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Great Writing - Home > Extended > Another chance to love her - chapter 8
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Extended Work
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| Another chance to love her - chapter 8 | |
| By LynB | ||||||||||||||
| 18 March 2007 | ||||||||||||||
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Chapter 8 “Here” said Eileen, gently. “I think you could do with that cup of tea, now! Come on, love! It’ll make you feel better!” “I think it’s going to take more than a cup of tea to me make feel better!” was the anguished reply. “I can’t stand this, I want to be with her! I should be there, Eileen!” “Talk to me, love!” she said, putting a strong, motherly arm around his shoulders. “Apportioning blame isn’t going to help anyone! You should be together at her bedside – you shouldn’t be here on your own, bearing all this pain alone. Come on, talk to me – I’ve got all night, if needs be!” “I’ll tell you why I’m here on my own!” he said, as the tears started again. He tried to stem the flow with a pathetically inadequate piece of tissue he had found in the depths of his pockets, until Eileen offered him her handkerchief. “My little girl is in that hospital bed, with my wife absolutely beside herself, and hating me, because I was so intent on finding Emily, I became so obsessed with her everything else went out of the window! I loved that little girl, Eileen, and I was heartbroken when she left, I didn’t think I’d ever see her again, so when I did I wanted to make sure it wouldn’t only be the once – I just could not accept her parents didn’t want me around. When I put Rosie to bed, I didn’t bath her like I normally do – we were both tired and I didn’t think it would matter. As a result, I didn’t notice the rash for God knows how long, now she’s seriously ill in hospital, and it’s all my fault…..” “Please, Jon!” said Eileen, gently cupping his face in her hands. “You have to stop this! Torturing yourself isn’t going to help – especially when it’s completely unnecessary!” “I always try to be a good husband and father…..” he began, fighting to get the words out. “I messed up big time, didn’t I? Where did I go wrong?” “You ARE a good husband and father!” she said, as he laid his head on her lap, completely exhausted, and quite incapable of thinking straight. “Donna’s saying these things to you because she has to find someone to blame for what happened, and she’s lashing out at the one she loves – like we all do. She doesn’t hate you, no matter what she says – she needs you so much right now, just like you need her. Rosie needs you both!” “She won’t want me there!” he said. “She told me to go!” “You have a right to be there with your little girl!” said Eileen, gently stroking his hair, her motherly instinct coming to the fore. “Try and sleep now, it’s almost morning, then go to her – she won’t turn you away, she needs you too much – only her pride won’t let her say it. Do you want me to stay with you tonight, love?” “Would you?” he said, the look on his face almost broke her heart. “I don’t want to be on my own! I’m scared, Eileen, I’ve never been so scared in all my life!” “There’s nothing to be scared of!” she replied, holding him close. “Rosie’s in the best place” “I know” he said. “It’s just so hard, being away from her when she’s so poorly. I love her so much, Eileen…” After just a couple of hours sleep, he forced himself awake, and, after a quick cup of coffee, he made his way to the hospital. As he walked down the endless, winding corridors, he knew he desperately wanted to see his little girl, and yet he was scared of the reception he might get. On arriving at the children’s ward, he spoke briefly to a nurse at the desk, who informed him that Rosie was in a small side ward, and that Donna was with her. Her mother had gone home for a while as she had not been feeling very well, and did not want to stay in case she passed anything on to her little granddaughter. He reached the room, and peeped through the glass in the door. He saw Donna hunched over in a chair by Rosie’s bed. He could not see her properly, just a little figure in the bed, not moving, with a drip in her arm feeding her life saving antibiotics. He took a deep breath, and walked in. Donna looked up at him. “Oh, it’s you!” she said, turning back to Rosie. “I thought I told you I didn’t need you!” “Maybe not” he said, softly. “but she does” “Pity you weren’t around when she first needed you!” snapped Donna. “then she might not be in this state, now! What kind of a father are you?” Her words stung him more than a slap in the face. He had been asking himself that self same question. He walked slowly over to the bed, almost as though he didn’t want to look. Donna sensed his reluctance. “Go on!” she said, moving away from the bed. “There she is! Your daughter, Jon! Remember her? Take a good look at her – so you don’t forget her again!” He leaned against the wall, gently pounding it with his fists. He had slipped up, not noticing the rash sooner than he had, but Donna was making him pay for it big time now. Her words were like a knife in his heart, he knew words could hurt, but these words hurt more than any others – because of who was saying them, and why. He pulled himself together, and went back to the bed, sitting down in the chair Donna had vacated. Rosie lay sleeping, her tiny hand on the pillow beside her. Apart from the rash on her body, there were a few spots on her arms and face – they seemed to have caught it in time and had stopped it spreading, but she was still very ill. Blinded by tears, he reached out to her, his hand shaking, and gently stroked her face. “Rosie” he whispered, leaning over her and kissing her gently on her forehead. “Rosie, it’s daddy. I’m sorry, sweetheart –I’m sorry! I love you so much! I missed my good morning kiss! Shall I sing to you? Would you like that? Shall I sing our special song? “… you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey, you’ll never know, dear, how much I love you, please don’t take my sunshine away…..” Suddenly, his voice gave way, and he rested his head on the pillow next to her. He heard her stirring – as he looked at her, her eyes flickered open, and she lifted up her hand, and touched his face, smiling as she recognised him. “Daddy!” she said, in a tiny little voice. “Daddy! Love my daddy!” Quite unable to answer her, he covered his face with his hands, as overwhelming tears of relief took over. Donna realised she couldn’t be angry with him any more – she could not go on punishing him like this. She walked round the bed, and sat down on the chair next to him, taking him in her arms. He rested his head on her shoulder, still weeping softly. The nurse had been right – a hug was all he needed. “I’m so sorry, Jon!” she whispered, as she began to cry too, holding on to him so tightly, never wanting to let him go. “I’m sorry for what I said, I didn’t mean it! Please forgive me, I love you, I….” “Shh!” he said, his voice muffled by her shoulder. “Don’t say another word!” “But I said some unforgivable things! I said I hated you – but I don’t! I love you more than anything! Can you ever forgive me?” “What’s to forgive?” he said, glancing at his little girl. “She’s all that matters at the moment! It made me realise just how very precious she is to me. It took a scare like this to make me realise just how rich she made me. All the fame, the money, the music – they’re worth bugger all with no-one to share them with. If I couldn’t share them with you, and with Rosie, then I’d give it up right now!” “Do you still want to find Emily?” she said, looking up at him “Not now!” he said, shaking his head. “It’s caused us all too much pain! Her parents have made it plain how they feel about me, so I think it’s best if I just let it lie. It’ll just cause more grief the longer I keep it up. I have to let her go – but I’ll still keep loving her, they can’t stop me from doing that!” “If that’s what you want, love!” she said, putting her arms around his neck, and holding him close. “Yes” he said, smiling at her. “Yes, it is!” As she rested her head on his shoulder, sighing contentedly, she did not see the look on his face that said exactly the opposite.
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I'm still rating your work Lyn 
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