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Poetry
Dreamscape
By JesseJames
19 March 2007
Not sure what to do with this one.

I awoke alarmed at the loss of feeling
stumbling,falling back reeling into this dream I am appealing
The love that I lied and the lie that I loved I'm no longer seeing
these legs don't work the same any more
this act is getting harder to perform to walk out on stage and smile and wave
"Just remember,this too will fade"

Images like ghosts Imprinted on the mind
with the slightest hint of perfume to make it seem real
....but it was just a dream
words forming though my lungs are weak making it harder and harder to speak
I see them all pairing off again and I am waiting for some one to take my hand
"Just remember,this too will fade"
The year passed like a steamroller in a river bed slowly making it's way

Reviews

Written by Phil (6387 comments posted) 19th March 2007
You say you don't know what to do with this, I'm not sure what to make of it. Were it not for the title, I'd say bin it and start again. However, this does reflect the confusion of dreams - so it has something. Is that all it is though - a description of dreamlike confusion? Am I missing something? 
 
Proper punctuation wouldn't hurt. 
 
Phil.

Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 20th March 2007
Think I could see where you were going with this but you didn't quite pull it off for me. This kind of artlessly jumbled confusion is surprisingly difficult to pull off, quite ambitious! potentially interesting idea though. 
 
Elli

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