This is a very sad story.
A few weeks ago my friend's child had to attend the funeral of a school friend who had committed suicide; just a young teenager. A few days ago, a school friend of one of my children attempted to do the same thing.
I think that I have said everything that I can say. This is my tribute to all of those beaurtiful young people.
Kathy
Rest now, young heart,
did you know how much I loved you?
Now my poor heart
has nowhere to find a home.
I helped my infant seed to grow
and flower in adolescent sun
but, fearful of the winter snow
you shed your petals and were gone.
Listen to my heart;
tell it why you had to leave me
then I shall start
to mourn for what you'll never be.
The old would give you all their wealth
to take your youthful life to live
but you have sacrificed yourself,
a prize not solely yours to give.
For, sad heart, you could not see
how closely you were bound to me,
in your despair, you never knew
when your life stopped; you took mine too.
There, is, no, blame -
for strength too tired to withold
the trials of life, or weight of shame
that seeks to die and not grow old.
Poor heart! You will never see
that sometimes, happiness is blind.
With patience, we can all be free;
joy's just another state of mind.
You were my own brave heart,
but I cannot forgive
my guilt in keeping us apart
and leaving you for dust,
whilst I still live.
Young hearts- before you set your mind,
believe that someone loves you, so -
if not then, 'seek and ye shall find',
put hope in love and do not let it go.
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Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 20th March 2007 |
Even if this poem had been poorly expressed, which it was not, I would have been moved by it. I might have phrased parts of this differently, but I don't think I could write this as movingly.
I once knew a woman who worked as a pediatric nurse. One day on the ward, she had to care for both an adolescent suicide attempt and a child in the last stages of cancer, who had been bravely enduring all sorts of invasive procedures -- and chemotherapy plus radiotherapy too.
Although I know I should feel for the kids -- and I do -- my heart is really with their mothers and fathers.
Good work, Kathy. This can't have been easy to write, or much fun. |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 20th March 2007 |
Thanks for your words Mary.
I just had to write what was in my own heart, it felt right to just say it and not pay too much attention to getting it right. When I can I shall go back over it and make it as good as I can do.
My children's friend is just about ok and we are going to see her this week, it has come right out of the blue. It is such a shock when there is extreme intelligence, sporting ability and a good family background... I just wonder what sort of maddness is going on in the world.
Very best wishes
Kathy
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Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3295 comments posted) 20th March 2007 |
This is such an emotionally raw and heartfelt piece that critical comment seems redundant.
But I will say something.It is a wonderful poem and though it requires a bit of work I thought parts of it were truly sublime and beautiful and had a universal appeal. Perhaps you could come back to it at a later date or maybe you should leave it and let the powerful immediacy of it speak for itself. There is a clarity of expression that shouldn't be lost.
Genuinely moved
J
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Hi Kathy
Written by jean.day (2257 comments posted) 20th March 2007 |
I too found this very moving. But having had some first hand family experience of suicide and attempted suicide, I think sometimes there is nothing you can say to stop the actions of the person involved.
The woman minister who talked at the funeral of one of these suicides shouted at us, the relatives, for crying.
We all felt so guilty, for doing so little to show our love while he was alive. But he must have known, as we all knew, that his young wife (two babies) and parents loved him. He just felt that he couldn't cope with life, and thought they would be better without him. |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 20th March 2007 |
Dear Mary, Jane and Jean
I really don't know what to say, other than that I am not surprised that it was you three who were able to address this difficult subject matter with such tenderness.
I hope that I have not hurt you Jean, I can only guess at the suffering that you and your family have experienced. I thought it important not to ignore this, as it is part of our failing as humans to hinder unintentionally by trying to pretend that things like this don't exist.
As you say Jean, sometimes there is nothing one can do.
Best, best regards
Kathy |
Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 20th March 2007 |
Full of powerful and deep emotion. Moved.
Who knows what madness (?) is around the corner? All we can do is hope it doesn't strike too close to home. Somehow, hearing of a child committing suicide touches us all as it cuts through to the core of us all. How can a society (which I think we all make up) allow/push an individual to this?
It may need a polish at a later date, but it has a sad beauty.
Couldn't have been easy.
Phil. |
Little more to add...
Written by patterjack (1159 comments posted) 20th March 2007 |
..,except that I think that yes , you will be able to polish it in time , possibly with some condensing of material.
The sentiments are laudable , the expression neat and clear in its dealing with a difficult subject .
patterjack
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moving
Written by no1butClo (337 comments posted) 21st March 2007 |
...beyond words. Apart from a touch-up here and there there is nothing that needs changing in this poem, it's all jsut there to read - more about content than style, methinks.
You talk about the 'madness out there'; I'm not sure, but I think that alot of the pressures and negative feeling that leads to young teenage suicides are internally inflicted, which is all the more worrying.
really good writing, well done
clo |
Written by Lizzy (783 comments posted) 21st March 2007 |
Very moving and well put and not overly sentimental.
I am sure we all have our days of depression but to be in such depths of despair that the only way out is to end it all must be truly horrific.
Thank you for this
Lizzy |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 21st March 2007 |
Phil, this certainly was not easy to write. I agree that society, it appears to be our construct and varies depending on culture ... there don't appear to be absolutes so in theory we can change what we don't like - easier said than done. I think we can help by encouraging much more open discussion, it would make it less 'shameful' for people to admit that they are having such thoughts. That is why I felt that I had to write and show this ... if it can make any difference at all...
Patterjack, I will ask for your guidance with this when I feel a little less emotional about it all. Thank-you.
Clo, I fear that you may be right in your judgement about some internal elements being involved. It almost seems wrong for me to say thank you for saying nice things about the poem itself, but I take your compliment gladly in the spirit in which it was given. Thanks for leaving a message.
Lizzy, I really did hope that it wasn't going too far, but it came straight from deep down and so I knew that these were true feelings, but just minor in comparison to those of my child's friend and family. I thank you for feeling moved to leave a comment.
Best regards
Kathy |
Written by LynB (434 comments posted) 21st March 2007 |
I have only just seen this. A beautiful poem, full of raw, powerful emotions. Having lost a relative to suicide, I can identify with this, and it touched me deeply.
I loved it. |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 22nd March 2007 |
Lyn
I begin to understand just how important it is for everyone to be able to discuss this openly. You have made one of the most valuable contributions here.
With deep thanks to you,
Kathy |
Pain and beauty
Written by Talisker (1321 comments posted) 22nd March 2007 |
Pain in subject matter, beauty in expression. Perhaps this can be improved, but it has a rawness which would easily be lost. I always find diminishing returns in iteration and editing. There is always something in the original motivation to write, which is lost when you come to do a "re-touch".
Poetry has certainly a place in the expression of grief and pain. You have done this eloquently, Kathy.
My favourite lines:
"but, fearful of the winter snow,
you shed your petals and were gone" Beautiful!
"joy's just another state of mind" very apt.
There are many more fine lines in what is a fine poem.
Oli  |
Young Heart. (A Lament)
Written by CliffBowes (176 comments posted) 22nd March 2007 |
What a beautiful poem Kathy. I have little experience of close friends or family commiting suicide (apart from my own attempt twenty odd years ago). But your emotional work silenced me for a couple of hours when I could think of nothing else except the poor families involved. I once had the experience of a young man coming to me, as his Senior Officer, for advice when his wife admitted having an affair. I did the best I could and related some of my own experiences to him. A few days later he killed himself. I felt as though I had let him down badly and carried the guilt for years.
The last verse is sound advice to any youngster in a suicidal frame of mind.
Line two should 'who' read 'how'?
Thanks for this poem
Cliff |
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 22nd March 2007 |
Everyone has expressed the beauty of the poem more articulately than i could or will attempt to, however i just wanted to say how emotive and touching this beautiful piece is, and that even for such a personal poem, you did the subject a real justice.
You can tell when the feeling behind a piece is raw and real. It only makes it all the more powerful.
On a personal note, lately i have been very unwell, and my mum has time again said that she feels as though she's lost her child. Even in the times i just want to give in, i hang on for her. I 'put hope in love and do not let it go.' Your poem speaks on many levels.
Well done Kathy |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 22nd March 2007 |
Oli,
You are on my wavelength exactly. It was raw and I just didn't want to re-write it because I wanted to be truthful about how I felt. The penulitmate stanza was full of anger and so is not 'neat'. Thank-you.
Cliff and Gill
How can I get across just how much your honesty has meant to me? I too had periods of depression and those did involve suicidal thoughts. With help I overcame them and I really, really want people to know that it is possible to do so - but you have to have faith. Gill, my mother said a similar thing to me years ago. Believe that in time, you will want to 'hang on' because you know deep down that you are yourself worthwhile. Never give up.
Kathy
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Written by Fledermaus (3238 comments posted) 22nd March 2007 |
It's sad that when people come that far. Who knows what goes on in their mind? They must feel very worthless doing something like that, thinking the world is better off without them.
I think suicide must seem rather selfish to those who're left behind, but then, the person who commited it probably thought otherwise. If he could still think at all...
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Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 23rd March 2007 |
I agree that there could be a view that it is a selfish act in that no-one else's views are taken into consideration but as you say there is an inability to reason. I do not believe that any individual who takes their own life does it with a rational mind.
In my poem, I try to show the result of such an act upon the ones who loved them ... because as we have discussed, this thought is lacking when people are making a choice to end it all. Will it make a difference? I think probably not, but the more we all talk about it the more that families feelings are known and I hope that could become part of people's decision making.
Thanks for your thoughts.
Kathy |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 23rd March 2007 |
I'm a bit late to this to say anything that hasn't already been said far better than I could have said it anyway so I'll keep it short. Clearly lots of raw emotion in this and it's powerful because of that. As Jane says, critical comment seems redundant, if I were you I would leave this to sit for a good while and come back to it. But I think you've got courage to write this and it has touched a lot of people so well worth the while.
Very moving piece
Elli |
Written by Kathy (220 comments posted) 23rd March 2007 |
Thank-you Elli,
I did find it hard to know whether to approach the subject or not, but I think that the amount of brave replies speaks for itself.
Thanks for the advice, I certainly do need to leave it quite a while before doing anything to it.
Kathy |
Leave it the way as it is Kathy...
Written by JohnnyD (74 comments posted) 15th August 2008 |
Emotions overflowing in words describing the agony of a loved parents is indeed difficult to understand and really painful. I may be late in touching the chord with you Kathy, but let me tell you... you have captured the emotions in a very touching manner.
Lovely poem and please leave it as it is for it has more power emotionally for what was going in your heart and mind...
I wonder, why you are not writing more stuff... keep up the good work. Take care!
Johnny D |
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