Chapter 10

For a few minutes after Donna had spoken, there was a strained silence in the room, eventually broken by Rosie, who had woken up and was demanding a drink.  Before they could respond, the door opened, and a doctor came in.

“I’d just like to take a look at this young lady” she said, smiling  “then, if everything’s OK, she can go home!”

“That’s wonderful!” said Donna, her eyes lighting up.  “isn’t it, Jon?”

“Yes” he said, forcing a smile.  “it’ll be great to have her home again!”

The doctor looked at them both, she could sense the tension between them, but made no comment.  Instead, she turned her attention to Rosie, who was not being very co-operative.

”Can I have a look at your tummy, Rosie?” said the doctor, lifting up her nightie.

“No” said Rosie, pulling it down again.  “Go ‘way!”

“Rosie!” said Donna, sitting on the edge of the bed.  “If you let the doctor look at your tummy, you can come home with me and daddy! How about that?”

Rosie suddenly became much more co-operative!  After completing her examination, the doctor turned to them, a delighted smile on her face.

“I’m pleased to tell you that, as far as I can see, there’s no reason why she shouldn’t go home today!  She’s made remarkable progress – she’s suffered no ill-effects whatsoever.  She just needs to build her strength up, and there’s no reason why she shouldn’t make a complete recovery!”

“Thank you so much!”  Donna threw her arms around the doctor, and gave her a heartfelt hug.  “We can never repay you for what you’ve done!  Thank you for saving her life!”

“I want no repayment” said the doctor, putting a gentle hand on her arm.  “save that of knowing that I’ve helped your little girl!”

She glanced at Jon, who sat there in the chair, covering his face with his hand and her voice lowered to a whisper: 

“Is he all right?” she said.

“He’s fine!” said Donna.  “I think he’s just a bit overwhelmed, that’s all!”

“I thought he looked a bit pale.  Maybe he’s sickening for something?”

“Sometimes he’s just sickening!” joked Donna, as they both laughed.  “He’ll be all right, I think he’s overtired, but won’t admit it!”

The doctor left the room, closing the door behind her.  Rosie sat up in bed, holding out her arms to Donna.  She picked her up and held her close, longing for the time she could take her home. After they had completed all the necessary paperwork, they packed Rosie’s things, and, tucking a blanket around her, they carried her to the car, making sure she was safely strapped into her seat.  When they reached home, she was fast asleep, so they gently lifted her from the car, and took her straight upstairs to her cot, and placed her favourite teddy bear beside her.

“I’m going upstairs to lie on the bed” said Donna, putting her empty cup on the coffee table.  “I’m tired!”

“I think we need to talk!” said Jon, taking hold of her hand, trying to pull her down next to him.  “What did you mean when you said I had to make my choice?”

“Not now, Jon!” she said, pushing his hand away.  “We can talk later – as I said, I’m tired, and I’m not really thinking rationally at the moment!”

With that, she closed the door, and made her way upstairs.  After everything that had happened, she was totally exhausted.  The relief was so overwhelming that it hit her like a ton of bricks; as she thought to herself what could have happened, her eyes filled with tears, and she began to cry as if her heart would break.  She did not hear the bedroom door open.

“Donna!  Please, don’t cry!  Come on, I hate to see you like this!”

She sat up on the bed, and threw her arms around him, still crying uncontrollably.  He held her close, gently rocking her back and forth, stroking her hair.  His mind was in complete turmoil, he was still reeling from Donna’s ultimatum back at the hospital – he wasn’t quite sure whether she meant it, or whether she had said it because her emotions were all over the place at the time.  The thought of losing Donna was unthinkable, yet so was the thought of giving up the chance to see Emily.  Oh Jesus, what was he going to do?  He knew this was one decision he would have to make on his own – he would have to search his heart for the answers, but at the moment, there did not appear to be any.  Eventually, Donna stopped crying, and looked up at him, her face still wet with tears.

“I was so scared, Jon!” she whispered, still clinging on to him for dear life.  “I’ve never been so scared!  I thought we were going to lose her!  If anything had happened to her….”

“Stop it!  Don’t say it! Please …… don’t say it……”

He buried his face in her shoulder, as he wept silently.  Donna asked him why he was crying, but he was quite unable to answer her, as he did not know himself.  So many conflicting emotions – the joy of meeting Emily again, the pain of having her snatched away again after the bittersweet moments he had managed to catch with her, then there was the overwhelming heartbreak of nearly losing his little girl, the crushing guilt he had felt at not noticing her illness sooner, then the equally overwhelming relief when she turned the corner and began to recover.  Now he was being offered one last chance to meet Emily before she was taken away from him again for good.  He had told Donna he could handle it, he could walk away without a backward glance, but he knew, deep down, that he couldn’t.   It would be better for all concerned if he did not see her at all, but he could not bear the thought of that.  Donna was right – he had changed, but not for the better.  He could not bear the thought of losing her, but, at the same time, the thought of giving Emily up was equally unbearable.  As he lay beside his wife in bed that night, watching her sleeping, he asked himself how a chance meeting with a little girl he had thought he would never see again had grown into something that was now threatening to rent asunder everything that he held dear – he thought he had everything he’d ever dreamed of – he had loving wife, a beautiful child, his God-given voice brought untold pleasure to countless people.  The thought that he could now possibly lose it all was breaking his heart.