She hid behind that cigarette.

She never used to smoke as far as I could remember.

As soon as I felt I was getting somehwere with her,

Into her bag she went.

She put her full concentration into looking for the box.

I think that's where I lost her.

She'd light that damned thing with a look,

If she could disappear into the smoke she would.

Sometimes I wish she would just disappear,

Like she had never existed at all.

The smoke clouded her face as she clouded my thoughts.

She made me unreasonable.

I blamed that heady mist,

It was easier than blaming her.

We would just sit there as the time went;

Together,

And still distant.

I kept myself inside as she burned away her secrets.

I told her I loved her,

But it could not penetrate the smoke.

Her shield against the world,

And me.

Nothing could touch her with that cigarette.

Not my love or her problems.

She would just blow them away,

Back across the table.

She needed that cigarette more than she needed me.

I would never be able to protect her like it could.