The Dragon’s Den

Dragons!

They guard their domain and their charges with tremendous ferocity. The steely glint in the eye precludes any approach other than to state ones name. Once this has been done one is expected to sit and wait for the call. Any attempt to find out how long this wait may be is met with a curl of the lip, a metaphorical puff of smoke and a frosty look. "You are not the only one waiting!"

I hate going to the doctor’s even when the reason is very minor. Why give an appointment time when everyone knows that you can add at least twenty minutes?

The Spanish Inquisition, I am sure, designed the seating. Pure torture to sit on for very long. Upholstered in shiny plastic - dark brown to hide any dirt. The walls are in a complementary shade of lime green, dregs of paint cans no doubt.

The magazines supplied should be on the Antiques Road Show but they’re too dog-eared and grubby. Their rightful place is in the recycle bin!

I spend a few minutes reading the walls, posters with health warnings and advice, little of which applies to me, although I could almost be scared into believing I have one of these illnesses. I mentally examine my minor aches and pains and compare them to the symptoms listed. I begin to make a note of other things I should mention to the doctor.

The phone rings constantly and is constantly ignored. Sickly people surround me. Old-aged pensioners with arthritic hips. Screaming children waiting for their inoculations. A young man biting his fingernails, afraid to receive his test results. A very pregnant young girl who looks as though she might give birth at any minute. The garrulous, the silent, the scared and the bored. Impatient patients all waiting.

One of the dragons comes out of her cage with an ugly sneer (which is trying to be a smile) on her face and announces, "Doctor Edwards has had to deal with an emergency. Those with an appointment to see him can either make a new appointment or wait until the emergency is over." There are groans and sighs and a few people walk out.

The man sitting next to me sinks even deeper into his jacket. I catch his eye but he looks the other way and ignores me. He is about thirty years old, not too bad looking in the modern, scruffy way. I’m still not sure whether the stubble and the uncombed hair are attractive or not! He begins examining his phone. I peer out of one eye and try to read what he is texting. He becomes aware that I am looking and turns away. Embarrassed I switch my attention and regard the potted plant in the corner of the room. It is tall and thin, having only two sickly leaves at the top. I suppose it’s in the right place!

My thoughts have drifted and I’m replanning my evening meal. It was going to be lasagne, but forget that! Soup and sandwich will have to do. Now what about Christmas? What can I buy Aunt Joan? Nothing ever seems right. I don’t think I’m going to have turkey this year. It won’t fit into my new slim-line oven.

I am suddenly aware that it has gone very quiet. I look up, there is just the young man, and me left. Obviously no one else is waiting for Doctor Edwards. The dragons have locked themselves in and are happily drinking tea and eating biscuits. They could have offered us something! Chief Dragon catches my eye and beckons with a talon. Tentatively I go across to her lair. She speaks to me through the iron grille. This is the happiest she has looked since I arrived. "I’m so sorry," I can hear the syrup in her voice, "But Doctor is still dealing with an urgent problem. It shouldn’t be much longer. Would you mind telling the young man?" She returns to her tea.

The young man looks up expectantly. "She says it shouldn’t be much longer and then the doctor will see us. They must think that we’ve got nothing better to do. But what choice is there? If we go now the whole time we’ve been here has been wasted!" I look at the young man expecting some sort of reply but all I get is a grunt and his eyes return to his phone.

I almost nod off but then the buzzer sounds and it is my turn to go in. I hobble to the door, stiff with sitting, feeling about ninety. It doesn’t take long to see the doctor and when I come out there is no one in the waiting room.

No dragons!

No young man!