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Written by fellpony
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24 March 2007 |
two haiku prompted by (separate) scenes today as I was going to work.
I chainsaws snarl. a bare branch falls to the woodland floor crushing wild garlic II lying prone, the twigs throw out pink flowers, shouting a last breath of life |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 24th March 2007 | I can smell the scent of crushed wild garlic in the first. Very effective. Can't picture the second. A prone flowering twig? Last breath? Doesn't add up for me. Could be my intermittent denseness has come to visit!
Phil. | Fallen branches
Written by CliffBowes (176 comments posted) 24th March 2007 | A haiku should capture a fleeting moment or object, freezing it in time. Yours do just that. I can almost smell the sawn timber in the first and catch the scent of Autumn leaves turned to natural compost and breeding fresh growth, in the second. Lovely examples of this fine Japenese art form Sue.
Cliff | prone
Written by fellpony (1608 comments posted) 24th March 2007 | | yes, fallen, but flowering - it made me look twice, too - and the base of the branch was n't attached to anything. BSome plants will do their damndest to flower / reproduce / survive, even if cut off at the ankles. Willow will root from felled trunks. This, I think, was an almond. |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 24th March 2007 | Now it makes sense. (I showed Denseness the door.)
Phil |
Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 24th March 2007 | I love these, the first especially. Perfectly captured moments.
E
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Written by Lizzy (793 comments posted) 25th March 2007 | These were well done.
Thank you |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 25th March 2007 | I've come back to these a couple of times. Really like them both, they create very strong images. First one is possibly my favourite.
Elli |
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