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Poetry


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The Sad-faced Barn

By Chuk

24 March 2007

State of the family farm

There she waits
In her abandon.
Empty eyes
Survey the land.
No-one hears
Her sad lament
Except the swallows
And the tattletale wind.

Milkweed and thistle
Now over-run
Floral borders
Long untended.
Bones of wind
A plague of rust
Signs of time
Left unmended.

Once she watched
Him wake the sun
With clanging pails
Asail the night
And toil all day
Chores seldom done
At weather's fail
Or end of light.

And his wife
As strong as he
Bore his children
And wiped his tears
Not long ago
Or so it seems
They made promise
Forever years.

To passers-by she's just an ol' farm
A run-down house and a broken barn.
In their haste
They don't see the waste
Or feel the pain
Of The Sad-faced Barn.

Reviews

The Sad-faced Barn
Written by CliffBowes (176 comments posted) 24th March 2007

Welcome to the GW website Chuk.
A derelect farm is as melancholic a sight in Canada as it is here in England. A sad poem but it really sums up the feeling of decay and a neglected building, especially the second stanza. I like it all and look forward to reading more of your work.
Cliff

Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 24th March 2007

You really captured the echoes of history in this. Loved 'tattletale wind.' Very effective verse.

Last stanza maybe needs a little attention - too many rhymes for me - especially compared to the rest.

Really liked this Chuk. Welcome to GW.

Phil.

Hi Chuk
Written by JourneyAtNight (318 comments posted) 24th March 2007

Very effective. Left me with a real feeling of nostalgia.

Like Phil, "tattletale wind" really stood out for me.

Liked it a lot.

E

Written by Lizzy (828 comments posted) 25th March 2007

I liked this too. A nice idea to have the house and barn remembering happier and sadder times

Written by ellipinnock (1790 comments posted) 25th March 2007

I liked the content of this. I'm not sure you did yourself any favours with the way you chose to structure this - it makes for a bit of a disjointed read.

Elli

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