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Poetry
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Witzl's just too good
By Bottleblondesurfer
26 March 2007
I noted Witzl's pathetic attempts at crap poems. She's just too talented. As the worst poet on the site I thought I'd show you how bad  a poem can get

If you leave me now in winter
While the wind blows ever keener
There’s no end to the road you  travel
And no petrol in the old Cortina.
 
If you leave me now in spring
You’ll surely find regret
You’re bound to miss the train
If the clocks haven’t been re-set
 
Can you leave me now in summer?
The loss I’d feel more still
The deposit is non-refundable
For the Caravan in Rhyl
 
Dare you really leave in Autumn?
With the garden all aglow
But if you must, one thing I pray
Could you give the lawn a mow?
 
 

Reviews

Written by Katsinella (28 comments posted) 25th March 2007
BBS, I too am a self-professed 'non' poet but this makes me giggle. My own don't!  
I know little about form, structure but I do know what I like. This is both a little sad (all that leaving) and funny (please mow the lawn). :grin
Unfortunately
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 25th March 2007
for you the humour redeems this entirely! Well it made me smile anyway... 
 
Elli

Written by Lizzy (800 comments posted) 26th March 2007
Can't comment on its value as a poem or its structure as I'm no good at 'pomes' but it made me smile on this slightly dull monday morning. 
Lizzy

Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 26th March 2007
Watto Bubbles, 
 
Well go on, just leave me 
It'll not make me glum. 
I'll not miss you dearie 
Not if you take your mum. 
 
 
Bri 
 
HI BBS
Written by jean.day (2283 comments posted) 26th March 2007
Not bad enough to win the competition. I enjoyed reading it.

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 26th March 2007
Tee hee -- you blew it with that inspired rhyme of 'still' and 'Rhyl, Jane!' No way is this one bad enough for Wergle Flomp. Plus, it scans, and you probably weren't even aware of it.
what's more
Written by fellpony (1617 comments posted) 26th March 2007
it has a structure, a movement (through the seasons) and a rhyme scheme - so it's much too good for Wergle Flomp, and funny to boot! 
 
made me laugh (and I'm at work too, oops)
When is the best time? I've given it s
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 26th March 2007
 
After much thought, I've decided: 
 
So, I’ll leave you at the altar  
Before the seasons come. 
For I’ve had a really frightening thought - 
You may grow to look like "Mum".

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 26th March 2007
Nice one Josie I think you could make that into a poem and post up a reposte to mine. It's spot on but sadly too good to be bad 
J

Written by woody44 (775 comments posted) 26th March 2007
This is my kind of unpretentious poetry Jane.Very accessible and it made me smile from beginning to end. 
Damn it I might even have another go myself... 
 
cheers 
Woody.

Written by anorwegianwood (278 comments posted) 26th March 2007
Unfortunately, I agree with the crowd. It's just too funny to be bad. I liked it. Sorry to be so blunt, but it's true. 
 
~Claire

Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 26th March 2007
Yep, too funny to be bad. Enjoyed. 
 
Phil.

Written by wattle (117 comments posted) 12th May 2007
Jane, I agree with Phil. Bad means ‘nothing’ with poetry. This is much too memorable. You’re at least a silver medal prospect. (Gold it I were the only other entry). ----- Thank you

Written by Fledermaus (3307 comments posted) 13th February 2008
Bad, but not bad enough. There's still too much structure in it to compete with really crappy poems for the title of crappiest poem...

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