What a wally I am feeling,

touch my toes and touch the ceiling.

What a night I drank away,

now spinning in my bed I lay.

Was it vodka or was it rum?

What's that twitching in my bum?

When I got in was it late?

Sadly wondering will have to wait.

Up I leap off to the loo,

so completely I am in need of a poo.

Down the corridor, left at the stairs,

it's touching cloth, it's coming in pairs.

Up with the seat and down with the drawers,

just in time for a dramatic pause...

Out with the smell and in with relief,

here I end and spare you some grief.