Innovation in the Police Force - Great Writing Creative Writing Community

Quicklinks:

Great Writing - Home > Not News > Innovation in the Police Force

READING ROOM

Great Writing - Home

Read and review others' work

Articles on writing

Advice from the community

COMMUNITY

Talk to others in the forums

Events and Competitions

GW News

ABOUT GREAT WRITING

All About Us

WORK AWAITING REVIEW
This list is randomly generated from all our published works. Tap, Tap, Tap by Toad ID cards. They will prot... by spiderbaby49 Limba Dextro by pocoyo Cereal by bwoz The Force is With You by maipenrai The Eventual Decay of Sa... by devonwelsh Bingo the Lad and James ... by bwoz Thank the Lord for Allah by wt Nowhere by kitten_princess Sweet Bud by margarita

GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.

WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1694 guests online and 3 members online footy JohnnyD JohannaBoal

WHO'S ONLINE

footy

JohnnyD

JohannaBoal

Not News


print friendly version
Innovation in the Police Force

By Bottleblondesurfer

27 March 2007

Another writing exercise sparked off by a suggestion from Stevetroster. The trouble is the original incident mentioned is hard to top but I thought I'd put my own spin on it. If you don't like it Steve, well it's the best I could come up with in the time

The Home Secretary has dismissed criticisms of his new reforms of the Police Force
“There is no earthly reason why the Police should not benefit from a Sponsorship deal”, he said defiantly.
Concern that a carpet wholesale business might not be the ideal partner was angrily rebuffed.
“It will bring in an injection of outside cash plus other benefits. One thing the force has been crying our for is a bit of decent carpeting in the Stations. And the deal we got on the blue pattered Axminster will benefit the whole country,” he asserted.
Speaking from outside his townhouse the minister heatedly dismissed allegations that he had benefited directly from this deal and said the banging and hammering from inside was due to air in the central heating.
He said it was a great package for the benefit of all and the small logo on the back of the officers uniforms saying “I got laid with Carpetright” in no way compromised their dignity and authority.
The Police Commissioner said it was untrue that floor searches were becoming the norm now for the most insignificant of crimes.
”It is true that they have risen by 400% but this is in no way linked to the special ‘recommend a friend’ deal. It is part of the officers trauma training to ensure the public are provided with the best help and information; and this includes advice on replacement carpeting, where a robust search has resulted in damage. We see this as part of the extended caring service we now offer, along with our new easy term loan scheme”
Carpetright were unavailable for comment.

Reviews

Aaaawwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 27th March 2007

.......... wrong button!!!
Written by Bagheera (683 comments posted) 27th March 2007

... there was me convinced you'd want to tell us that the whole affair had been "swept under the carpet" ....... :grin

Written by coosh (867 comments posted) 27th March 2007

... me too... and the Commissioner had had the rug pulled out from under his helmet...

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3352 comments posted) 27th March 2007

Well I was going to put stuff like that in but I wanted to make it a humourous post
J

Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 27th March 2007

Well at least Bubbles there was no mention of "Shag Pile".

A second sponsorship deal has been set up with Marketting And Financing International Associates. This august companty, which has branches in America and Italy; are to be outsourced the custody and control of all prisoners.

This will allow all the Uk prison buildings to be converted into bijou apartments for the noveaux riche.

Bri.

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 27th March 2007

I'm surprised you didn't get Prezza in there somewhere. Have you gone off him? Clever piece.

Phil

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 27th March 2007

I loved the blue pattered Axminister and the assertion that having the logo 'I got laid with Carpetright' on the back of the policemen's jacket did not compromise the dignity or authority of the wearer.

I was expecting some allusion to 'the fuzz,' then realized that this term was more American.

Very funny piece!

Recommend a friend..
Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 27th March 2007

..was my favourite line, very retail minded turn of phrase.
Would have liked a few promotions thrown in, like:
"50% off your next raid plus an extra 20% off if you shop a fellow muslim." only at Bluelight carpets.
Carpet jokes: Would you like a deep shag up your back passage madam? Have you had your under felt recently madam? Carpet fitters do it on their knees, but carpet salesmen do it by the metre! etc..
It's nice to know that someone like me can inspire someone like you
Cheers and best wishes.
Steve.

HI BBS
Written by jean.day (2279 comments posted) 27th March 2007

I enjoyed this. Can't think of anything to add to the above comments.

Here we go..here we go..
Written by woody44 (775 comments posted) 28th March 2007

Whatever next! Hugging and kissing and doing the conga along the pavement when an arrest is made..Lovely stuff as usual Jane.

cheers
Woody

Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.

Next item