Quicklinks:
|
Great Writing - Home > Comedy > DEUS EX MACHINA
| READING ROOM | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
|
| COMMUNITY | |||
|---|---|---|---|
|
| ABOUT GREAT WRITING | ||
|---|---|---|
|
| WORK AWAITING REVIEW |
|---|
|
| GW IS... |
|---|
|
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas
and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur
authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry
Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you
can make new friends and improve your creative writing. |
| WHO'S ONLINE |
|---|
| We have 1209 guests online and 6 members online |
Comedy
| print friendly version | |
| DEUS EX MACHINA | |
| By russ11 | ||||||||||||
| 01 April 2007 | ||||||||||||
|
This is the only comedy I have ever tried to write (deliberately, that is) so please help with your comments. Thanks for reading. God, in this my hour of need let me be a channel for thy peace - that where there is darkeness I may bring light… Oi… …that where there is…. Oi, meinstein stop with the words ..light let there….er hello…. At last, what da I need, a burning bush already, over here…yoo hoo Where Over here, the big bright shiny thing… Jesus Christ, it’s hurting my eyes…. Close but no cigar, and you vere just talking to me as well tut tut…. …is that you…God…I must be dreaming You vish, vould I lie to you, vhere vere you vhen I handed out the brains, you schmuck I…but a Jewish God.. On my life, vhy not, how many gods are there I should need to list them all, is that vhat you’re telling me ha ha A Jewish Joking god…..maybe… Vhat do you want, Maureen Lipman vith a beard, oi voy… Oh vhat fun I am having. I like laughing…vhy else vould I make Vales Like valleys, you mean No, no, you schmo Vales… Big blubbery things very popular in Japanese canning factories…. NO NO NO Wales…you don’t seem with it or is it that you’re not impressed to meet me Oh right…sorry, you know how it is, one minute you’re praying and the next thing you’re the first human being to have a one-2-one with God since Eve said to Adam “Go on, he’ll never notice”. And then you end up talking about Wales…. You mean vales like between hills…. …we’ve just done this bit OK OK….already…scheesh so touchy and such a good turn I vas going to do you too I’m sorry I’m forgetting my manners, how do you do I do everything. Vell, I haven’t got all day….actually I have but isn’t there something you vanted to ask me Er...oh…What will happen to mankind? That’s a schmite too long OK how about something simpler. When I am going to die, is that too long a one? Not too long – ahem now I need to explain… Er..excuse me your Godness I’m not too sure you’ve answered my question. I have I don’t understand. You vill – I find this joke gets the message across Knock, knock. Who’s there Not you anymore – see nothing like a bit of humour If you don’t mind me mentioning it, that seems to lack something.. Like what… Well, humour, humanity,…. Humanity, schmanity…. Why me Vhy not ‘Why not’, my life….. this is my life we’re talking about not another drink at the bar – for Christ’s sake…I mean for God’s sake….sorry…I mean… I don’t wanna die Vhy not – immortal peace, no tax, no work, everlasting life, big boobed blondes with wings, bacon… Why now There’s no time like the present and I have to get on, next on the list is one I am really looking forward to … President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. So now is the time. How about the future, that seems like a good time right now Nope, my friend, it’s now before the light fades. Now you mention, it the glow does seem to be fading fast Bloody NHS, more meddling… ….“get the respirator off, Nurse, it’s killing him….another 10 units atropine” “He’s coming round, Doctor,” she said, ” his pulse is back, his eyes are opening, thank God” “Don’t vorry, my son ”, Dr Cohen told the patient, “God is vith you, already…..” “My goodness, Doctor, he’s passed right out”.
Only registered users can rate and write comments. Powered by AkoComment 2.0! |
||||||||||||
 Previous item
|
Next item
|
|---|