Quicklinks:
Short S. | Poetry | Not News | Scripts | Comedy | Non-Fiction | SF | Crime | For Kids | Extended | Village
Great Writing - Home > Poetry > My Favourite Things
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1427 guests online and 2 members online
Poetry
print friendly version     
My Favourite Things
By wltshr
02 April 2007

Inspired by the Gilbert & Sullivan spoof. " A Pervert's lot"

I merely tried to write something as twisted and as perverted as I could imagine. I apologise in advance for anyone who is upset by this. It was simply a mental exercise.



Embarrassing itches and intimate rashes,
Plucking stray hairs from your nose and eye-lashes,
Loosening bolts on the playground swings,
These are a few of my favourite things,
 

A river, a weight, and a sack full of puppies,
A juggernaut crushing a Porsche full of yuppies,
Terrified children all tied up with string,
These are a few of my favourite things.


When the dog bites,
When the bee stings,
When I'm feeling bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don't feel, so mad.

Reviews
Outstanding
Written by stevetroster (1588 comments posted) 2nd April 2007
No more to say.

Written by LynB (435 comments posted) 2nd April 2007
Not in the best of taste, but then that may just be me. 
 
Nothing funny about vandalising kids playgrounds, and drowning puppies. :sigh
I'll second Steve - Outstanding
Written by Phil (6828 comments posted) 2nd April 2007
Lyn's right, not in the best of taste - but all the better for it.  
 
Superb. 
 
Actually (sorry Lyn) my favourite line was: Loosening bolts on the playground swings - although crushing Yuppies came close. 
 
If you're in the mood - do some more. Anything from The Sound of Music will do. I quite like musicals, but that one is just awful. 
 
Phil. 
 

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3433 comments posted) 2nd April 2007
Talk about guilty pleasures. Yes this was in terrible taste but there is a world of difference between writing about it and doing it,I guess. If there is a sudden spate of bolt loosening in playgrounds [my personal favourite] then we will know who to blame!!.  
Very very funny sweetie. Puts me in mind of Tom Lehrer who used to do this sort of stuff. "Poisoning pigeons in the Park" was one of his. I can give it no higher praise than that. 
cheers 
J
Hi Wilty
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 2nd April 2007
I think the word that lyn B missed was ironic. (Cept the yuppies and the word would be "Humanitarian.") 
 
Brian.

Written by LynB (435 comments posted) 3rd April 2007
I didn't miss anything, Brian. Ironic? It's in poor taste and nothing will convince me otherwise. I may be in the minority, but surely it doesn't mean my opinion isn't valid. 
 
P.S. How's cynicsid these days? Better watch it, someone might come along and clip his wings, then you can write a poem about it.
I have to agree with Lyn
Written by Talisker (1328 comments posted) 3rd April 2007
I'm fairly broad minded - but there are boundaries. 
 
This would certainly offend a lot of people - unnecessarily  
 
Oli 
 
To Talisker and LynB.. (and anyone else)
Written by wltshr (338 comments posted) 3rd April 2007
Hi Guys 
 
Please note that I have altered my introduction. 
 
It was naive of me not to consider that some people might be offended. 
 
(Funnily enough, I thought it would be line 7 which might get people's juices flowing!) 
 
I'm grateful for all reviews and saddened that 90% of readers say nothing at all. 
 
Best wishes 
 
Wltshr

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!
 Previous item   Next item
This site is copyright 2005 - 2007 Great Writing. Work submitted by members remains the copyright of the respective authors.
See our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.