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For Children
False Child, 2nd chapter
By Witzl
02 April 2007
My apologies for the dopey formatting. I don't know what is happening, but I cannot get the font any smaller than it is. It's never done this before; the text this was copied from is the same font and font size I always use. If anyone who is computer literate knows what is going on and wouldn't mind telling me, I would appreciate it!

Meeting Brian

    Katie woke up early the next morning.  For a moment she lay in bed, wondering why she was filled with such a sense of expectation. Then she remembered:  the boy. Leaping out of bed, Katie splashed cold water on her face, ran a comb through her straight brown hair, and dressed.  She hurried downstairs for breakfast, anxious for it to be over so it would be sweeping time and she could stand by the window and watch the children going to school.

     “Hungry today, aren’t you?” her mother said. Katie was suddenly aware of how fast she was eating.  She wasn’t especially hungry; the mushrooms didn’t taste particularly good, nor did the roots, and she never wanted more than one bowlful. But if she said no, her mother would wonder why she was eating so quickly. So she nodded briefly and began to eat more slowly

    The rain was now coming down in torrents. Few children were outside today. Katie saw two little girls running together, then one boy – but not the boy – running after them. Time passed, and just as Katie was beginning to give up hope, there he was. Today he had a bright green and white umbrella and was trudging along, deliberately stepping in puddles, kicking at the muddy water. Katie watched him intently and sure enough, just as he was passing her window he looked towards her – and waved! He was definitely waving to her, and he had been looking out for her too! He stood there a moment, twirling the umbrella which he held in front of him like a shield, the rain pelting down on his head. Then to her astonishment, he beckoned to her and when she merely stared back at him, he smiled and mouthed something. For a moment, Katie feared he might be saying something rude, but the look on his face was so open and friendly she found herself moving towards the door. Just as she was about to open it, however, her mother came into the room.

     “Who is at the door?” she demanded.  Katie stared back at her dully, and her mother repeated the question.

     “No one,” she answered, flustered.  She could still just see the boy out of the corner of her eye; he had given up and was walking away now. Her mother stood there, staring at her. Katie could almost have sworn she was sniffing the air.

     “Finish your sweeping, then,” said her mother. Katie picked up her broom and her mother went over to the window and peered out as if she were looking for someone, but the boy was now out of view.  For the longest time her mother stood there staring out of the window, as if she were hoping to see something.  Katie felt a stab of irritation: she had scared the boy away!

     Katie found that the weekend could not pass quickly enough. On Monday, she kept a lookout for the boy, but did not see him. On Tuesday and Wednesday too she waited in vain, and by Thursday she had almost given up hope.  She stood by the window, ready to begin whisking her broom around the minute her mother showed her face at the door.

   And suddenly, there he was. This time he waved, then walked right up to their gate and waited. Katie hesitated only for a moment. She knew her mother was still washing up; she could hear her rattling about in the kitchen. The boy was earlier than usual this morning. She opened the door and ran outside.

    The boy stood at the gate. Katie was suddenly overwhelmed by embarrassment and indecision. What should she say?

    “Hi” the boy said. “You don’t go to school, do you?”

    “No” said Katie, and to her embarrassment, it came out in the tiniest whisper.

    “So, does your mom home-school you?” he asked. Katie stared at him.

    The boy continued. “My mom used to home-school me, then she and my dad split up and she went back to work, so now I go to school.  You’re lucky, I wish I didn’t have to go to school. What’s your name?”

    This time Katie had an answer, and her voice came out a little better. But no sooner had she told him her name than she heard her mother calling her. She looked at the boy again, desperately wishing she could think of something to ask him. Then it came to her:  ask his name.  So she did.  The boy smiled. “I'm Brian."

     “Oh” said Katie, stupidly, and she turned and ran back into the house, leaving Brian standing there at the gate, staring after her.

    That day, as she worked in the garden, Katie could think only of meeting and talking to the boy:  Brian, he was called. Her mother had spoken to her very sharply:  What were you doing? Who were you talking to? Why did you go out of the house?  Katie had not been able to look her in the eye. Why had she gone outside and talked to the boy? Because she had wanted to:  it was as simple as that. She had wanted to talk to someone, anyone. Her mother was perfectly content to live in almost total silence, speaking only when it was absolutely necessary. But Katie longed to talk.  Not just to say I put the basket in the kitchen, or Are these clothes dry enough, do you think?  Katie thought of the children racing down the street to school. All talking, laughing, making noise.  Nothing they said seemed to be particularly important; they were talking because it was fun.  That was what made her mother different, Katie suddenly realized. She almost never talked.

Reviews
Awww bless!
Written by Signa (66 comments posted) 2nd April 2007
That's so cute. I remember being little, trying to socialise and not knowing how to do it. It was really awkward.  
 
I really like Katie. She's a gutsy little sweetheart. I really want to know what happens to her.

Written by Lizzy (783 comments posted) 2nd April 2007
Sorry can't help with the formatting! The font size makes me think I don't really need any new glasses. 
 
The story is moving along very nicely. I like the way you are introducing things -the fact that she doesn't talk much and so doesn't know how to. She doesn't know how to speak to Brian and is obviously afraid of her mother. 
Keep going. 
Lizzy 
Hi Mary
Written by jean.day (2257 comments posted) 2nd April 2007
I've read both chapters now, and find it an interesting plot. Lots of questions are raised, which of course is what is supposed to happen, to make one want to keep on reading. I find myself wondering how much education she had already had - she was able to draw and label drawings, so she learned to write - but what about reading? How old is she? What do they look like? I'm sure I will get all my answers in time. 
 

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 3rd April 2007
Thank you for following this, Signa, Lizzy and Jean. I've thought this one through pretty well, and all of your questions will be answered in due course, but if you find some holes in my logic, please do point them out! You'll need to read a few more chapters before you really do figure out what is going on, and I hope you won't get bored in the interim. If you do, please let me know! 
 
Jean, I did have Katie's age in originally -- she is between ten and eleven -- but I took it out as I want this to be read by kids from about ten to fifteen and I feared that if I had her younger age in, I'd put off the older kids. I will probably have to adjust this at some point; I wanted Katie to be pre-adolescent, but only just.

Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 3rd April 2007
Kaite seemed about ten to me and although i'm intirgued, i'm happy to let the story unfold to learn more about her. I am actually more curious about her mother than her, and why she wants to keep her daughter locked up indoors. Katie's social skills and self confidence had clearly suffered as a result and she doesn't seem to like her mother very much, although at the momment she doesn't seem bad as such, just different. Looking forward to more!

Written by Phil (6635 comments posted) 3rd April 2007
I think her mother could best be described as 'a cold fish' at the moment. 
 
Moving on well Mary. I mentioned in my last review about seeing this set in dull, dark colours, mainly greens and browns. When Katie goes to the gate, perhaps you could contrast this by picking out some other colour - the red in his coat, the bright blue of his school bag etc. (Maybe a silly idea) 
 
Interesting that Brian has been home tutored - there can't be many - also interesting that he preferred it to school. Clearly his parents had a different approach. 
 
I liked Katie's realisation about the lack of talk in her house. Someone has already commented about her intelligence. To learn in a void makes her quite special. To realise she has big gaps in her development due to her situation makes her more special still. 
 
You mentioned a target audience of 10 to 15. Not sure about that at the moment, but would like to read more before commenting. 
 
You've set this up well, and I'm really enjoying it so far. 
 
Looking forward to the next piece. 
 
Phil.

Written by Fledermaus (3238 comments posted) 4th April 2007
Awww... 
I hope not many mothers use home-school as an excuse to lock their children away. It always makes me wonder why in a relatively small country like the UK it's still allowed. I can understand it for the USA or Canada, where many kids probably don't have a school near, but in Britain... Don't know why, but I imagined this set in the UK. Probably because sad stories about mistreated children also need rainy weather, grey Victorian houses and school uniforms ;) 
I wonder what made her mother to become like that. Is she overly concerned or is she just mean?

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