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Poetry
windows
By no1butClo
03 April 2007
comments welcome


It is cool today, snow falls past
a window that swings uncertainly -
as thrown off by March snowstorms
as the pale face behind the pane.

It is dark donight, a car pushes through
blackness that fades to the burnt orange
of city skies, as a pair of eyes adjusts to
streetlamp glare from behind the pane

It is quiet. Light alone betrays
the stillness of a morning street
to no-one at all but the face
behind the pane.

Reviews
Idea is fine
Written by patterjack (1053 comments posted) 2nd April 2007
but why oh why do you have to leave a , as , as , to hanging at the end of lines ? 
 
patterjack

Written by Phil (6383 comments posted) 3rd April 2007
Like the idea but stuggling to connect. You've written this in a very remote, detached way. Perhaps that's deliberate. 
 
Phil.

Written by TomtomKent (33 comments posted) 12th April 2007
I hope the remote detached point of view WAS deliberate, as for me that was the haunting idea that drags you into the poem and makes it feel so evocative.  
 
I like it. I might have completely misinterpreted it (as I normally do), but the other worldy choice of words, the sneaky starts of lines (the afore mentioned a, as to, etc) and the general spookyness of the descriptions (snow in March, darkness, urban dawns) make this feel like a bit of a ghost story to me. 
 
I am going to spend my entire day at work looking over my shoulder for pale unmovng faces in windows. :cry  
 
 
Brilliant! :grin

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