I am in a restroom, standing at a urinal relieving myself. A guy walks in and starts urinating at the trough next to me. I glance at his dick to see if it's bigger than mine. It is. He's not circumcised so I attribute it to excess skin. He probably ejaculates prematurely.

His mobile phone rings. He answers it, loudly, brashly.

Irritating!

I use my ballpoint pen to skewer his hand to his phone, to the side of his head. He falls forward, smashing his nose against the rim of the urinal. He hits the floor, blood and urine mingle. He starts screaming.

No less irritating.

I take my phone and switch it to silent. I ram it into his mouth, his screams muffle. I finish urinating.

I put my penis back into my pants. I grab my phone. His is whimpering now. I wash my hands.

I tell the cleaning lady waiting outside to give it a moment; someone is still finishing up in there.