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Poetry
inside the nightmare
By obsidion
09 April 2007


inside the nightmare

im locked inside this nightmare

the noise that neverends

my movements mostly hurt me

they will be with me till the end

everyone who sees me and the bright light i emit

they dont see the sorrow of the everlasting tic

laying down and sleeping

the thing i would become

if i was to take your poison

and let it through my life blood run

so locked inside my nightmare

i know i will remain

where sunlight sometimes seeps in

and helps to ease the pain

but i feel no sorrow in what my lifes become

because i know that one day

peace and i will be at one

Reviews

Written by Phil (6963 comments posted) 9th April 2007
Up front, I'll say I'm not keen on the rhythm. I'm not sure it suits the subject matter. A little too Pam Ayers? (Sp?) This is probably a personal thing - see what other reviewers think. 
 
Having said that, there are parts of this I really like. For example, the contrast of how you appear and how you are. The language creates a resigned but calm tone to the whole piece. 
 
Interesting first post. 
 
Phil. 
 

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