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Comedy
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| At the Club-1 | |
| By BrianRobertNeal | ||||||||||
| 10 April 2007 | ||||||||||
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I'm toying with a series of tales based on members of the Home and Colonial Gentlemen's Club. Their period is in between the two World War's A group of ageing men were sat in a leather chair circle, and all but one were listening intently. The exception being the Rajah: He was off on one of his many orations. A note in passing; He was only a Rajah for three weeks, but that is another story altogether. So let’s join the listeners. "I've known many a "good egg" in my time but Rider takes the biscuit. A strapping 6ft 3ins and every inch a man's man; He was what was known as a "Muscular Christian". And could he tell a good tale. My favourite was the one about Leap Frog. A one time very popular sport amongst the Public School set. It like a lot of things was killed by the Great War. It seems Rider was up late that particular morning because he had been paid seven guineas to play for Sir John's eleven against Oscar's Team. The winners were to share a bonus of one hundred guineas. He had not been a fervent convert to Leap Frog but it was the only professional sport that did not threaten his status as a rugger man. The team kits were very colourful and not unlike those worn by the fairies that played soccer. It was at least twelve noon before he could face up to meeting his new team’s members. They were an odd crew. One of them was an established novelist and playwright! He always led the team out as his position was “Jellyman”. He merely ran onto the pitch and stood crouched waiting for the first leaper. The game had grown up as an alternative winter sport for cricketers. It was hoped that it would in time replace soccer. The game was played on a standard cricket wicket. There was no limit to the number of teams involved for they lined up alongside each other. A chum had told him that it was a bit like the Eton Wall Game in that no side had ever scored a goal. In the case of team leap frog the goal being for each member of the team to have jumped over each of the players that had preceded them. So Jelly Down, twosie jumps over him and bends down. Threesie jumps Jelly and Twosie and then he bends down and so on. Rider was taken aback when he saw his fellow team mates. They weren’t very manly. In fact he was sure that some were wearing perfume and perhaps even make up. He was appalled at the tight little changing room that the eleven had to squeeze into! On several occasions he had had to give one of his fierce stares when other team members got a little too close. There were only two teams contesting today, however it was a prize event and Oscar the Thespian had donated a Handsome Trophy. It was a large cup which depicted nude Adonii playing leap frog. The umpires arrived and called the two teams to order. They shouted, "Lline up", then gave the command, "Jelly Down. " The Jellies took up their positions. The Umpires then ordered, " Twosies off." The next two men should have leapt over the Jellies however Rider was outraged by what he saw. He exclaimed that, "The next man who does that sort of thing will meet me at dawn tomorrow! He can chose between pistols or sabres. " All of a sudden both teams started leaping as though there lives depended on it, which in fact it did. It was neck and neck as the two elevensies started their run up. However the rather obese opponent ran out of puff by the time he reached sevensie and Rider finished four leaps ahead. The umpires and the other twenty-one players looked shocked. One of the Umpires said, "Gosh what a wizard game. We must play by these rules more often." Rider was awarded the Cup and the purse money. The trophy is still in existence, though Rider had the decorative Adonii removed as close inspection showed them not to be playing leap frog at all! When leap frog died out in the 1920s the trophy was given to an up and coming sport. It is still contested for and is known as the Rider Cup. I'm often asked what it was that Rider found the Adonii to be doing. Well the one thing that would have shocked a man like Rider, they were playing football or as he put it, "Messing about in the Penalty Area." I'm also asked what it was that the Leapers were doing that so offended Rider? The answer's quite simple, in Rider's eyes they were cheating. Rules is Rules!" Foot Note-Muscular Christians are a now long gone specie. They believed in King/Queen and Country, the virtue of sport and as long as you did not push it too hard, Christianity.
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