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| Lost and Found (full version) | |
| By linguistictendencies | ||||||||
| 11 April 2007 | ||||||||
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I decided it would be better to put the whole story on in one go, so here it is. I've been through it and corrected the errors (I blame spellcheck entirely, of course!). Hopefully I found them all. Two people. Two friends. A man and a woman. Middle-aged. Unhappy. They got to know each other at one of those meetings, for people who have lost. United in grief, united by tragedy. A corroding tragedy that has blighted their existence since it blundered into their lives and destroyed what made them whole. Them and many others who try to be together, take comfort in other victims, but who, in their heads and hearts are really isolated, solitary, weighed down by an immense and heavy emptiness. On your own, with everybody else. But their grief is not ordinary. They don’t even know whether they should grieve. They are unsure of the fate of the loved ones they have lost. A few years ago both had young children, a life partner, a clean, neat house in the suburbs, a cosy life, safe, dependable, routine, unremarkable. Then their children disappeared. Just vanished into thin air. One minute they were in their beds, the next they were gone. Sally had just tucked in her young son, Ray, after reading him the customary bedtime story. She’d kissed his forehead, wished him good night, turned off the light, shut the door and went back to the living room to watch a drama on terrestrial. Twenty minutes later she’d kissed her husband and said she was going to read for a while in bed. On the way to her bedroom she’d looked in on Ray. His bed had been empty. The covers crumpled at the end of the bed, his favourite teddy bear discarded on the floor. The light had still been off, the window securely shut, yet he was nowhere to be seen. She’d screamed and screamed, ran outside to look for him, knocked on neighbour’s houses, shouted his name into the cold, dark night. They’d called the police, her and her husband had been suspects, the police had searched their home, they didn’t really believe their story that he’d just vanished. But they’d had no evidence against them, so they had not been charged. But everyone had looked at them differently from then on. Friends, neighbours, work colleagues. They’d all suspected Sally and her husband. When she’d walk past a group of people at work, their voices always lowered and they’d look at her, disgust and hate in their eyes and faces. But she hadn’t done anything. And neither had John, her husband. But he’d dealt with it better than her. She’d withdrew into herself and gradually sunk deeper and deeper into depression. And after a few years he hadn’t been able to cope with her all-encompassing sadness any longer, and he’d left. Since then she’d really been alone. Until she’d started going to the meetings, and there she met Graham. Graham’s story was remarkably similar, his daughter, Hailey, had also mysteriously vanished one night from her bed. All the major details of his story were like Sally’s, apart from his fiancée, Julie, hadn’t left him, she’d committed suicide, unable to actually go on functioning without her beautiful little Hailey. The loss of not just his beloved daughter, but also his beautiful fiancé, who he’d doted on, had completely ravaged Graham. He was now but a shell of a man; hardly what one would call a human being. He went on as normal on a daily basis, on the surface he seemed okay, but inside he was a hollow void of pain. He didn’t speak much, but when he did it was to say important things, words that needed to be listened to. The suffering could be heard in his voice, an undertone of hurt bubbling beneath the surface of the words, threatening to explode as his voice cracked and wavered. These two friends had nothing left in their lives, bar each other. This was until someone else made themselves known to them, someone who would provide closure, show them what had happened to their children, provide answers to their horrible questions. Reveal the fates of their lost loved ones. Jonas Kelberg was his name. A Swede originally, lived in England for ten years. His English was impeccable, with only a hint of an accent lurking. He’d been a vicar for a time, back in his homeland. Now he didn’t actually have a job, he said, he just helped people. He told Sally and Graham how he’d heard their stories and they’d resonated within him. He’d felt something, a light buzz. Then something had happened and he’d been flooded with sensations, he’d felt an internal pull that had gravitated him towards them and their hardships. He said that what he was going to tell them would be confusing, unbelievable at first, maybe even slightly disturbing. It was to do with their children. They implored him to tell them. Well, Sally did, Graham just nodded and gestured with his hand for Jonas to continue. He told them that he could feel the souls of their children. He knew what had happened to them. They had not been abducted or even hurt. Spirits had taken them away. To a better place. Sally had scoffed at this, and even sobbed slightly. He’d got her hopes up and then dashed them with this tripe. But Graham nodded and said: ‘I’ve always known Hailey was in a better place.’ Sally had stopped her protestations and stared at him. ‘You believe this?’ she’d asked incredulously. ‘Yes, I can see only honesty in this man. What he says is true, I just know it,’ had been Graham’s reply. Jonas had smiled and said that Graham was ready to find out the truth. He then looked at Sally enquiringly, as if seeing if she was also ready. She looked slightly angry and vaguely upset, but she nodded anyway. Then Jonas had said that it was time. Jonas had said he needed something of Hailey’s and something dear to Ray. He needed these things to find them. He stated these beloved objects would be filled with the children’s love and their life force would reverberate from them, and lead the parents to their children. Graham had given Jonas Hailey’s light blue blanket she’d called ‘Cosy’, and Sally had provided Ray’s favourite teddy bear, still in the same condition as when he’d last held it. They had then gathered in Graham’s living room, as Hailey had gone missing more recently, though only by a few months. Jonas had sat them down, turned the lights off, lit a few candles and got the fire going. He’d told them to close their eyes and sit still and quiet. Jonas had then held the children’s things in each hand and closed his eyes; let the dark consume him. After a minute or two he’d started nodding and repeating the mantra ‘Yes, I can feel them’ over and over again. After several minutes of that he’d stopped and collapsed onto the floor. Both Sally and Graham had rushed over to help him, but he’d shrugged them off and stood up on his own, a broad and infectious smile on his face. He’d then simply said: ‘They are ready to see you.’ As they walked towards the place where they would be re-united with their children, Graham remembered something Jonas had said before and asked: ‘What happened that resulted in you being flooded with sensations, as you said?’ Jonas smiled again and said he wondered when Graham would ask. He explained that a person had been removed from society. Imprisoned. A very bad man. A wholly evil man. A person with not a trace of goodness within him. Jonas then warned the two parents that what he was going to tell them next would be shocking. They said they were prepared to hear it. He then explained that this bad man had kidnapped and hurt children. He’d taken them from their beds at night, kept them prisoner for days, done despicable things to them, and then buried them in an abandoned quarry. But he’d been caught and sentenced to life without parole. They agreed this was shocking, but Jonas said he had some more information that was even worse. ‘This man was going to take Ray, and then he also planned to take Hailey.’ Sally and Graham had shaken their heads, reacting with dismay and bemusement. They’d said ‘How the hell did he know?’ and refused to believe. But Jonas had calmed them and said it was true. But the man had not succeeded in taking their children. They had been saved. Taken to a better place, a heavenly place, before the man had a chance to take them to hell. They had been saved by spirits, taken away before harm could come to them. Taken by the good souls. They had not suffered; in fact Jonas believed it was quite a calming, uplifting experience. Still Sally did not believe him. But Graham said he did. He said he understood know. All these years he’d never known what had happened to his precious little Hailey, but he’d never felt it was something bad. ‘She is safe, she always has been, and so is Ray, safe and happy. And they wouldn’t have been if they’d have been taken from this earth by the evil man.’ Graham had said, and he’d put his arm around Sally’s shoulders and stroked her hair. And she too had then felt it – Jonas was telling the truth. He’d then slowed down and stopped. They were in the middle of the local park, a place both Ray and Hailey had played, not together, but at the same time unknowingly. Jonas had then said this was where the children’s precious things had led him. And then he said: ‘It is time to say goodbye.’ They joined hands, stood in a circle in the middle of the playing field. There was a slight breeze flowing through a nearby copse of sparse trees. The ground was damp from a light rain, the sky pitch black and cloudless. Jonas told them to look up and as they did tiny glowing stars appeared in the sky, scattered about like fireflies on a still, dark lake. He told them to close their eyes and let their minds go blank. He then lifted their hands up to form arches between them. After a few moments, shapes started to appear around them. Initially they were milky white and fuzzy, then they became clearer, more defined. They were children, or the ghosts of children. Children taken by the good souls, spirited away to save them from torment and pain. They littered the field around the three adults. They were just standing there, staring. A little girl detached herself from the large group; she had curly brown hair and was wearing a green dress. She drifted over to the adults and tapped Graham on the back. He awoke from the reverie he had sunk into during the séance, and looked around to see what had tapped him. He gasped lightly, but stifled his shock. The little girl reached out her hand to him and he took it. It felt real, solid, human. The girl led him away from Jonas and Sally and the rest of the ghosts. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing; he didn’t pay much attention to the hundreds of young souls that were floating in the park. His focus was directed at his angelic daughter, his little Hailey who was leading him away to a quiet part of the park. They arrived at a small valley, which had resulted from the undulating field. She then stopped and turned to him, beckoning him down to her level. He stooped closer her to her. She put her arms out and he took her into a hug. He could smell her, feel her against him. She was real. He held her for several minutes, a huge smile on his face; he’d finally found her, and he’d never let go. But she broke off from the hug, and he looked at her puzzled. She then stood on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear: ‘I have to go now Daddy, I miss you, I love you, but I’m okay, I have to go.’ Her voice was light and airy. He shook his head and said: ‘No, please don’t go, I’ll never let you go again, I need you.’ She smiled her sweet, innocent smile. ‘You’re okay now Daddy, I’m okay; I’m in a better place. You can move on now, everything will be okay,’ she said. And inside he knew she was right. He had to let her go, everything was okay now. He found himself starting to cry. She smiled at him again and mouthed goodbye. He did the same as her hand left his, leaving a slight chill. She moved away and waved, as a little boy appeared fleetingly next to her, also waving. His hair stood on end, a pressure arose in his ears as he watched his beloved daughter fade back to the better place, a safe haven she had inhabited since she’d been taken from his life. He knew she’d be okay. And he felt that he would also be okay. He looked up at the stars as they dwindled and their light bled back into the night. He smiled at nothing in particular and felt a heavy weight lift from inside him. His head felt clear and his heart less burdened. He had finally found her. Found out the truth. All would be well now. Sally found Graham about fifty yards from where they had been standing. He was on his knees, weeping uncontrollably, sobs racked his body, his chest heaving, moans of pain and loss erupting from his mouth. She moved to him and put her hands on his shoulders. And then suddenly he stopped crying. He was instantly fine. He stood to his feet with a satisfied smile on his face. ‘She’s okay, I saw her, I spoke to her, she’s fine now. She’s gone back with the good souls,’ he said. Sally’s lips quivered and a solitary tear crept out of her right eye and snaked down her cheek. She hadn’t seen Ray, she had experienced nothing. ‘I didn’t see him, I didn’t feel anything,’ she said, her voice wavering with emotion. Graham hugged her to him and said: ‘I saw Ray, he was with Hailey, he was smiling and waving goodbye. He’s okay too. He’s with the spirits. Everything is going to be fine.’ She looked up at him and opened her mouth to protest, but Graham put his finger to her lips and kissed her forehead. They looked at each other for a moment, inevitability pulling them to each other. They kissed then, long and passionately. A kiss flooded with emotion, with loss, with relief, with closure. They then smiled at each other and turned to thank Jonas. But he was not there. There was nobody anywhere near them. The park was empty, void of life or ghosts. They looked around but could not see him walking away. He was nowhere to be found. But was he ever there anyway. Graham and Sally shared a look, and in that look they said to each other that Jonas was a good soul, even if he had been real, or alive, or not, he was most definitely a good soul. A protector. One of the spirits who were looking after their beloved children. Safe from harm. In a better place.
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