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Non-Fiction
Gourmand not Gourmet
By patterjack
11 April 2007
Paris  was  pleasant  enough ,  but  circumstances  , though  not   so  much  against  us  as a  family   , still   did  not   smile  greatly  upon  me   personally   from   a  professional   viewpoint   .   Since  I  was  on  a  sabbatical  ,  it  was almost  obligatory  upon  me  to  get  involved  with a  much   theatre as I  could   but   in  that  area   there  was  little  joy. 

What  was a  joy  was  the  hotel  we  stayed  at  ,  just  above  the  Sorbonne   , on a  small  square.  I  have  to  say that  the  people  who  ran  it  were  among the  nicest  we  met  in  France .   The   old   concierge  spoke  no  English and   I  spoke  non-idiomatic  schoolboy  French  ,  but  we  battled   along  bravely .  I  had   been  told I  should   see  Jean  Guerrin at  Montreuil  and  when  I could  not  convince  the  girl  on  the  telephone  exchange  what  I was  on  about  ,  he  did   his  best  for  me  .  

Finally I got  on  the Metro  to   Montreuil  and  once  there  looked  around   to  see  the Hotel  de Ville  ,  where  I  enquired  about  M.Guerrin  from a  girl  who claimed  to  speak   English  .  Luckily  there  was a   poster  in  the  foyer   that mentioned  his  name  and  his  acting  school  ,  and  things   flowed  successfully  from  that ,  even  to my being  picked  up in a  car  and  driven  there  .

Another   theatrical  venture however  was a complete  flop.  Outside  the  Beaubourg  there  was   a tent show  --  claiming  to  be   an  interactive drama   event with  the  audience participating . In   French   or  not  ,  I thought  it  might  be  an  experience   .  Twice  we   booked   for  it   ,  but  twice it  was  cancelled  .  I  think  that   the  three  in  our  family were to  be   the  sole   audience .     But   by  sheer   good  luck  I  did get  to  see  the  Wuppental Ballet  performing   Kurt  Weill's  / Bertoldt  Brecht's   Seven  Deadly Sins  ,  so  that   was  very  much a  plus . I   am a lover  of  Weill's  music ,  and  I  enjoy  Brecht 's  plays.

Two  out  of  three was  not  bad  ,  so  we  gave  up  on  theatre  and  did  the  tourist   thing  with   galleries  and  museums .

Every  now  and  then   we  would  stretch  our  limited   budget   to  have a   slap up  meal . Not  that  we  did  not  eat  well  at  other  times  ,  but  it  was  usually  food  that  we  could   organise  for  ourselves .    I  only  made  one error   in that  regard  . I  bought  some fresh  fruit   from   the  stalls  and  n   small  delicatessen on  the  square  I  got  bread ,  cheeses and   une  tranche  de  cela    et  cela    etc ,  gesturing   at  the  various  meats and  hoping  for  the  best  .   A  lot  of  them  were  delicious   . However     I  don't  know  the constituents  of  one  that  I  bought  --  but  the horrible  memory  lingers  with  me  still  ! 

So   I  asked   the  concierge  where  would  be a  good   restaurant   nearby.   He   told  us of  Le  Ranch ,  but   warned  us   to   go  upstairs ,  where  it  was  cheaper.   When  we  found  the  place   we  wandered  upstairs   to  find that  one  paid for one's  meal and then served  oneself  at  the  smorgasbord .

We had not  had   such  an  opportunity for  gluttony  for quite a  long  time !   I  am a  good  trencherman   ,  the  daughter   does  pretty well  at  the table   ,   and  on  this  occasion  I was  surprised   to  see  my  wife   go  back  for  extra  helpings  .  With   a  bottle  of 
chablis   to wash  it  down ,  we  did  very  well  indeed  ,  thank you .  Naturally  I  avoided  the  salad  materials  ,  and  stuck  to  good  solid  protein.

So  as  we settled  back   replete  ,  ready  to  drink the last  of  the  wine  ,  the  waiter  came  up  to  us  and  asked  if  we  would  like  the  main  course  now  !   And  let  it  be  known  that  it  was  not  a  small  main  course  either !   Somewhat  glassy - eyed ,  we  called   for   another   bottle   of   the  chablis  to  wash  it   down  ,  and   manfully  and  womanfully  chomped  our  way    ,  slowly  slowly  ,  through  the  meal .

The   walk   back  up  the  hill  to the  hotel , though  not  steep  ,  was  one  of the  longest   journeys  I  have  made on  foot .

I  was  , after  all  ,  carrying  within  me  quite  a  burden  !!

Reviews

Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 11th April 2007
Ooh, I wish I'd been there! Though I don't envy you that walk home.  
 
There was a time I could eat my weight in food and not gain an ounce. Sadly, this could not last forever, and now I am a normal person who dreams of food and packs it on -- and all the members of my family who were like this to begin with are gratified to know that my metabolism has caught up with me. 
 
Now I am dying to know: what was the awful stuff at the market which you did not name? Horse? Organ meats? Something worse?

Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 11th April 2007
If it once had a pulse - the French will eat it. 
 
A good taste (no pun intended) of Paris. It's somewhere I would like to spend some time - away from the tourist trail on the whole. 
 
Good read. 
 
Phil.

Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 12th April 2007
I was a bit nervous about reading this. People often wax so lyrical about France that they fall into florid cliche but I suppose I should have known better from a no-nonsense Aussie.  
I enjoyed the first bit about your attempts at hunting out the culture and laughed out loud at the restaurant incident. I could just imagine that all happening.You've got a knack for telling a good tale and you managed to write about France without putting my teeth on edge so I'll treat you to a joke. 
The one saving grace about France is- if you drive through it really quickly you can get to Spain. 
OK it's not that funny, [but it makes me laugh] 
Jane

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