I'm forty in the morning.
Just a bit of fun, but sadly all true except for the bit about jowls.
Mid-life crisis!
What crisis?
Receding hair leaves a shiny head
But pubic hair grows on my neck.
It sprouts from nose and from my ears;
Enough to bring a man to tears.
Expanding waist line, swollen gut,
An aching bunion on left-hand foot,
A painful back that groans and creaks,
Jowls below my plumping cheeks.
I have to get up in the night
To take a leak, it’s quite a sight -
For though my body’s gone downhill
I refuse to wear pyjamas still.
So turning forty’s not much fun,
But when at last the day is done,
I’ll pour myself into my bed
And thank the stars that I’m not dead.
|
Written by emacskye (23 comments posted) 11th April 2007 |
| Happy birthday. I hope you have a good day tomorrow. take care xx |
Written by Fledermaus (3306 comments posted) 11th April 2007 |
Gosh and I was getting old, being on the wrong side of the 25.... I've got to hurry enjoying myself while I'm still young...
A good poem. Happy birthday and try to practice blowing out 40 birthday-cake-candles at once. |
Written by Fledermaus (3306 comments posted) 11th April 2007 |
Err "I was getting old" should be "I THOUGHT I was getting old".
Glad it's just a bit of fun, for it'd be a pity if you truly did have a midlife crisis. |
Written by patterjack (1194 comments posted) 11th April 2007 |
Never give way to the hysteric
Just wait till you reach your climacteric
at 7 x 7 -- ( that's 49 )
well I think it is ! I've forgotten mine!
But here it is for what it's worth
My best wishes on the day of your birth !
patterjack |
Written by Lizzy (800 comments posted) 11th April 2007 |
Funny, sad if you believe it. Life begins.... at remember.
Happy birthday Phil and I hope you pour something other than yourself tomorrow.
Lizzy |
To Phil
Written by Josie (2785 comments posted) 11th April 2007 |
| There's worse to come - - - see my poem above yours. Now about 40. Either you've had half your life (the pessimist) or: the best half is yet to come (the optimist). I'd be the optimist if I were you! |
A very, very,
Written by stevetroster (1549 comments posted) 11th April 2007 |
very happy birthday, with sincere wishes that there are 'atleat' another forty in store for you.
"Nearing fifty,
So I can't gloat
Much closer to losing
My overcoat!"
God bless and grant you good health.
Best wishes as always
Steve. |
Happy birthday
Written by fellpony (1616 comments posted) 11th April 2007 |
don't fret about the turn of fate
just zap from tragic to the comic channel
don't worry about balding, mate -
love gods are fuelled by a solar panel
You might want to emblazon it on a T-shirt - on second thoughts, no, the kids at school would make your life hell.
Have a good one.
Sue |
Written by Phil (6730 comments posted) 11th April 2007 |
Thanks all.
Steve - I'm sure your overcoat's safe for now.
Phil. |
Written by JourneyAtNight (314 comments posted) 11th April 2007 |
Wishing you and your jowls a very happy birthday! 
Have a great day!
Esra |
Written by rilLie (327 comments posted) 11th April 2007 |
lol. Happy birthday, Phil.  |
Written by Bottleblondesurfer (3362 comments posted) 11th April 2007 |
I'm sure not a word of it is true,really but it's a clever poem.
And if you do feel old just remember you will never be this young again!!
cheers
Jane |
Written by BrianRobertNeal (1195 comments posted) 11th April 2007 |
A belated happy birthday Phil.
But don't worry your just at that awkward age for us men: somewhere between birth and death.
Brian |
Hi Phil
Written by jean.day (2283 comments posted) 12th April 2007 |
| A very happy birthday. Enjoyed your poem too. |
Written by coosh (868 comments posted) 12th April 2007 |
| Strictly speaking, you don't know 40 is "mid-life" until it's over - so, on the bright side, you could live to be 110, become covered entirely in pubic hair, and spend your last 20 years consuming everything through a straw as you go up and down a stair-lift. Great bit of fun, Phil, but like Jane, I'm not sure I believe a word of it. |
Many Happy Returns!
Written by Talisker (1326 comments posted) 12th April 2007 |
Oh Dear,
I beat you to it, old man - I'm 41 next month - it is hellish, you're right, there's no point in gilding the nettle.
Nature has a wicked sense of humour. But, on the positive side...shit, can't think of anything 
Just enjoy your birddog and what's left of the holibags.
Oli
P.S. I thought Pubic Hair was Brer Rabbit's cousin, no  |
Written by Gill21 (566 comments posted) 14th April 2007 |
A fun and clever poem. Don't fret! Some of the best looking men are in their forties....nose hair and all
Hope you had a great birthday x |
Written by Witzl (1585 comments posted) 14th April 2007 |
A belated Happy Birthday, Phil -- I just had one myself and I know how it feels. On my 40th birthday I was pregnant, so I had to postpone my midlife crisis. Then after that I was busy and had no time for it. In fact, I still haven't had it, but I'm looking forward to indulging in one soon. When I have the time.
As for the jowls, nose hairs, etc., my advice is to keep getting the good exercise you get through football, and trim those nose hairs. Then just forget about it -- who cares! The great thing about getting old is that you don't have to give a *)_% anymore.
And Gill is right -- the younger ones may be cute, but they don't have a patch on the 40 pluses. Though I would trim the nose hair.
|
Written by LynB (435 comments posted) 14th April 2007 |
| Hi Phil. Sorry I missed your birthday - I haven't been on for a few days. Hope it was a good one! |
Written by ellipinnock (1753 comments posted) 17th April 2007 |
A very belated happy birthday Phil. I think the image you've conjured up here will stay with me for some time - not sure I believe a word of it mind you!
Elli |
Written by Livinginanattic (456 comments posted) 4th May 2007 |
Sorry Phil, I've been neglecting the poetry forum and I've only just seen this. Hope you had a happy birthday.
I wouldn't worry about the nose and ear hairs but back problems can be something else, I can tell you! Anyway I'd better shut up now before I depress everyone.
Enjoyed the poem.
Cheers. |
Written by wattle (117 comments posted) 12th May 2007 |
| Phil, Sorry I missed your birthday. I guess I've been preoccupied with my age and failed to show up for my morning read. – Oh well best wishes and thank you for the snapshot. |
Written by Chelle (9 comments posted) 29th June 2007 |
They say life begins and 40- i hope your celebrations went well.
Good poem!
Chelle x |
Only registered users can rate and write comments.
Please login or register.
Previous item
