Great Writing - Home > Poetry > Reminds me of you
READING ROOM
Great Writing - Home
Read and review others' work
Articles on writing
Advice from the community
COMMUNITY
Talk to others in the forums
Events and Competitions
GW News
ABOUT GREAT WRITING
All About Us
Contact Us
WORK AWAITING REVIEW
GW IS...
Great Writing creative writing community is designed to prompt ideas and provide inspiration and motivation within aspiring and amateur authors. Whatever your topic; from love poetry to Doctor Who or Harry Potter fan fiction, Great Writing's online writing group is where you can make new friends and improve your creative writing.
WHO'S ONLINE
We have 1851 guests online and 6 members online
Poetry
Reminds me of you
By -jellyacey-
12 April 2007
uhm, so my nanny left me a couple of weeks ago, and I miss her :'c, she was with me for like, 10 years, she...left me..to marry,,some guy...:'c, nneeehhh!!! that's baaaddd!!! leaving me for some guy:C [clearly upset..] but I know.. I can't do anything about it.. so I express my feelings here...:D hope you like it:D

The calmness of the breeze reminds me of how you tamed my heart
how calm my heart was
and how I thought we will never part

The beautiful cherry blossoms remind me of your sweet face
How you tucked me in at night
and amaze me with your grace

The sweet melodies of the birds remind me of the tenderness in your voice
The way you sing me to sleep everynight
sometimes I would say, would you leave me, if you had a choice?

Reviews

Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 12th April 2007
Jelly-boy. Your profile says you're fourteen, do you not think it's about time you did without a nanny? Do you not think she deserves a life of her own? Perhaps it's a cultiral thing and I don't understand. 
 
Considering your age, I liked the structure of this. Particularly liked the first verse. Hope you don't mind me correcting your verb use.  
 
Verse one: will should be would 
Verse two: amaze should be amazed 
Verse three: sing should be sang 
 
I do admire you writing in what I assume is not your first language and hope you don't mind these corrections. I know getting verb tenses correct is one of the most difficult things in learning a different language. 
 
Phil.
yeah
Written by -jellyacey- (22 comments posted) 13th April 2007
guess so:D thanks so much:D for the correction and all:D I guess coz i'll be high school and stuff:D

   Only registered users can rate and write comments.
   Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 2.0!

 Previous item   Next item