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By -jellyacey-
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12 April 2007 |
uhm, so my nanny left me a couple of weeks ago, and I miss her :'c, she was with me for like, 10 years, she...left me..to marry,,some guy...:'c, nneeehhh!!! that's baaaddd!!! leaving me for some guy:C [clearly upset..] but I know.. I can't do anything about it.. so I express my feelings here...:D hope you like it:D The calmness of the breeze reminds me of how you tamed my heart how calm my heart was and how I thought we will never part
The beautiful cherry blossoms remind me of your sweet face How you tucked me in at night and amaze me with your grace
The sweet melodies of the birds remind me of the tenderness in your voice The way you sing me to sleep everynight sometimes I would say, would you leave me, if you had a choice? |
Written by Phil (6713 comments posted) 12th April 2007 | Jelly-boy. Your profile says you're fourteen, do you not think it's about time you did without a nanny? Do you not think she deserves a life of her own? Perhaps it's a cultiral thing and I don't understand. Considering your age, I liked the structure of this. Particularly liked the first verse. Hope you don't mind me correcting your verb use. Verse one: will should be would Verse two: amaze should be amazed Verse three: sing should be sang I do admire you writing in what I assume is not your first language and hope you don't mind these corrections. I know getting verb tenses correct is one of the most difficult things in learning a different language. Phil. | yeah Written by -jellyacey- (22 comments posted) 13th April 2007 | | guess so:D thanks so much:D for the correction and all:D I guess coz i'll be high school and stuff:D |
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